two-typing

Texting more than one person at a time, thus failing to give your undivided attention to either recipient.

That bastard was two-typing me and his mistress, then he got confused and called me his dirty bit on the side!

by Vizoneski February 6, 2017

two-ply

Pretty weak, frail and/or "soft". Not necessarily soft in terms of texture but meant as a measure of strength.

That dude puked after one shot, that's two-ply.

That dude at half a plate at the buffet, that's two-ply.

That dude threw up, rallied and saved those puppies from a fire, that's a little better than two-ply.

by tehsnakecharmer July 12, 2017

two cats and a turtle

A euphemism for the male genitalia. Two cats (furry balls) and a turtle (the penis which retracts when it's cold).

Would you like to come to my house and sit on my couch and drink some wine? I have two cats and a turtle wink wink.

by Rudelittlepig April 20, 2018

two bear mambo

Two strong adversaries engaged in a battle both will ultimately loose.

The senator realized he had no choice but to engage in the two bear mambo with his counterpart across the aisle.

by That’s what oasis February 13, 2018

Two-Fronts War

This primarily occurs only with males. The Two-Fronts War happens while standing to piss and your bowels begin to move in order to evacuate thus beginning the struggle to piss while not also shitting oneself.

I was at the urinal trying to piss when all of a sudden the Two-Fronts War broke out.

by Jrodddr September 28, 2018

Two nightstand

Two nightstand: (v.) when you fly to Philly, rent an Airbnb, sleep with a guy named Tristan for two days then come home to your husband never to speak of the situation again.

Well, I put so much work into this trip so I mine as well have a two nightstand

by T1212 July 6, 2019

two simps in a box

Where two individuals simp for eachother nonstop.

God we’re so perfect for eachother, I’d simp for you anyday br0, like two simps in a box.

by Pp veri biiig May 28, 2020