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Cousin Ted

Cousin Ted is just your cousin, and there is nothing wrong with him. Sure, he may be an extremely skinny creature with pale white skin and hundreds of tiny sharp teeth that only shows up at your window after he prowls around the outside of your house at night but I assure you nothing is wrong with him. He's just your good old cousin Ted who has with five small black beady eyes and an unstoppable urge to scoop out your kidneys after you fall asleep from his foul black viscous "sleep inducing saliva", but don't worry. He's just your cousin Ted, and he may or may not make you watch him eat your kidneys as you slowly die from his attack. Again, there is nothing wrong with "cousin Ted".
Little girl: mom where did timmy go?

Her mom: Cousin Ted was feeling rather peckish.
by Mr. Shog December 9, 2022
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sho-ted it

here i sho-ted it.... look. to discreetly say you copied it
by Cameater December 10, 2022
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Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

Originally, this is what people used to say after giving a long, nonprofit speech or lecture devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of powerful talks given at the main TED (technology, entertainment and design) annual event or one of its many satellite events around the world.

By 2015, This phrase then got broken down and used whenever people finished typing up an extensively long social media post.

Then, after like, 2018, this phrase got even more deteriorated (mainly by Gen Z or Gen X trying to sound like Gen Z) to the point that people now say it after saying a sentence, or, even worse, a sentence fragment because they think they’re being funny.
My boss kinda pisses me off. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk LOL I’m hilarious, time to go on social media for the next 7 hours.
by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 7, 2023
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Ted King as Senator Bartlett

Ted King's taking on the role of Senator Bartlett, from soap operas to political dramas, he's ruling the screen.
Example of how it's used in a sentence:

Person 1: Who's playing that Senator in Oppenheimer?

Person 2: That's Ted King as Senator Bartlett, man, from soaps to the senate!
by courtofowls September 5, 2023
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ted

ted aka teddy weddy is one kf my bffs and rhey can cancel me at any moment but they decide not to
suga: omg ted remeber ur cumbur era
ted: omg no never speak of that era AGAIN!!!! 😡😡😡😡
by sugaboogerstink July 3, 2023
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Ted-ing out

The verb ~Ted-ing out~ is to overthink to extreme lengths, as done by Ted Mosby in the show How I Met Your Mother
Girl 1: What if there's no spaces for the job by tomorrow? I have to get my application in tonight!
Girl 2: Bitch, you're totally Ted-ing out rn, you only found out about the space this morning.
Girl 1: Slut tf does "Ted-ing out" mean
by not.beanie July 30, 2023
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Father Ted

Father Ted is the coolest guy I have ever seen
by Bumlord4351 August 15, 2023
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