Crab-Wank

To squat down on your toes, reaching under the leg to masturbate in a downward motion.
Common sport amongst contractors working away from home. Of an evening, should they be feeling frisky and risky, they may strip off, carefully climb up on to the B&B’s sink rim, tiptoes on the unsupported edge. Whilst in this expert position he may decide to crab-wank one out whist his face/eye is pressed against the mirror, eyeballing himself until completion.

Martin: How was your evening Andy?
Andy: Pretty tragic really.
Martin: But I thought you had your night planned? Kebab and a crab-wank you said??
Andy: The kebab was great and I was after a thrill before bed.
Martin: What’s tragic about that? Did you manage the expert?
Andy: Almost, but the sink came off the wall and I couldn’t finish.
Martin: Still, better than Steve last year, his sink shattered and cut his femoral artery.

Andy: Hummnn, I may go back to the floor for a bit…

by Goatboy Grasshead June 8, 2021

Arts and Crabs

Using pubic hair to make arts and crafts projects. Crabs not necessary.

“I shaved my pubes last night.” “Oh, man, give me the hair, I wanna make some arts and crabs.”

by badgirl22 December 3, 2018

crab cave

Crab cave, a phrase to describe a crab infected vagina. That normally is black in colour and smells of fish.

Bob: Yo mark did you hear about Beckys clapped up crab cave?
Mark: Ye man that shit was crazy!

by The Cave Explorer April 18, 2019

spicy crab

When a male lightly dusts their genitals in Old Bay seasoning prior to entering their partner.

Brad - “Do you have any old bay?”
Chad - “Sorry, I gave my GF the spicy crab last night and I’m fresh out”

by Md crab boy July 3, 2023

Crab Dick

A dick that has herpes so bad that it can easily be confused with a crab's claw.

Holy shit that's a massive crab dick!

by Shawn Edgar October 19, 2017

crab touch

a touch only a crab can give. usually sexual

1. Damn man! You just got the Crab Touch!

2.Oh shit man! Did you see that Crab Touch!?

by Ca2en September 19, 2017

crab tamalinator

When you open a crab on facetime and shove the Tamale up your cavity filled teeth, whilst jerking off.

Ryan hasn’t brushed his teeth since he moved to maryland, and he showed me the crab tamalinator.

by ya boy the average kid August 7, 2022