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Postitis Syndrome

An ailment of unknown origin considered to be 'virtually' viral that can affect wide cross-sections of any population predominantly with Internet capability. However, more seriously infecting those most susceptible i.e. those who: are anal retentive; have no other life; have too much time on their hands; are infirm; are agoraphobes; possess other such vulnerabilites.

The most obvious symptoms - other than the outwardly addictive behaviour more readily observed by others - is an abnormal growth spanning all (or at least a majority) of the fingertips called a 'keyboard'. Milder forms of the illness can manifest itself in the form of a growth called a 'mouse' usually isolated and attached to only one hand. This form of the disease swiftly grows into the full-blown version quite rapidly exhibiting the keyboard style growth, sometimes nearly instantaneously.

Cure for the disease is not as simple to accomplish as it may at first sound. Invasive proceedures such as surgical removal of the keyboard growth and/or unplugging of the computer seem only to be temporary fixes as in most cases the computer becomes mysteriously 're-plugged' and the keyboard growth rapidly reappears on the victims' fingertips once more. No matter how often these proceedures are followed, the incidence of re-occurance remains alarmingly high, almost 100%.

It is currently classified as a Social Disease, but actually that is a misnomer as it is more of an ANTI-Social Disease as real world relationships suffer while the 'virtual' relationships propogate.

Currently, there is no surefire cure and the outlook for one in the near future is dim.
She has this incurable condition. She never wants to spend time with the family or cleaning the house anymore. And our sex life is virtually non-existant. All her time is spent posting and replying in nearly a half-dozen forums all over the net. I can't wait for someone to come up with a cure for POSTITIS SYNDROME.
by ORD Ellis March 25, 2007
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posting

stationary, not moving, found a place to chill.
"Hey man do you wanna go to this club?"
"No thanks im posting here at my house."
by Noblam February 3, 2010
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positive youth

a group of individuals with a positive outlook, whose main ideals are all fun and no fights. typically found among the straight edge.
all those kids that came here to support and have fun were all about positive youth.
by boof July 6, 2004
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popstitute

A guy or girl who suddenly feigns a huge love for a band or song they either have never heard or avidly dislike in an attempt to receive sexual favours.
A: dude Jim's such a popstitute, he told that girlthat he has all the Chris Brown albums hahaha she bought it too! Dumb bitch, nobody has Chris Brown albums hahaha!
by fenton the fearful frog February 25, 2009
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positive peter

by Apavefresh May 19, 2016
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positi0nsdeluxe

A TikToker in there flop era who loves Zoe Laverne and Oliver tree
Bye positi0nsdeluxe is In flop era 🤢🤢🤢
by positi0nsdeluxeflopera March 13, 2022
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pinch position

The position of taking a dump. Often used with canines.
My dog got stuck with a hanging turd and waddled a few houses down the street in the pinch position.
by Elroy Fitz February 1, 2004
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