masturbation

1) Something 11-17 year old guys do because they don't have anyone to have sex with.

2) Something you watch your sister do after she showers

3) A way to get the erection you get every mourning to go away

4) For men, using your hand to cause an orgasm

5) The only sleep over game for boys other than hand jobs.

6) The favorite activity of my both me and my six year old brother.

Jack sat in his room his room, practicing his favorite sport, masturbation, rubbing his hand up and down his cock until his sister walked in and gave him a new means of pleasure.

Dan could withstand the movie's sex scene any loner. He whipped out his pecker and started to masturbate

Brian gave me 510 bucks to let him film me masturbating

by Penusus, The God of Sex September 21, 2006

Masturbation Muscle

When a male has fapped so much, that one arm is bigger than the other one.

Guy 1 "Dude how did Daniel get so buff?"

Guy 2 "Look at his arm."

Guy 2 "It's because he tones his Masturbation Muscle."

Daniel "No! I just workout."

by Lifewithaknife November 1, 2011

Group Masturbation

The act of when multiple (useally the homies) people mainly of groups of three or more masturbate within the same room.

Or in a circle although that is mainly referred to as a circled jerk

Homie #1: group Masturbation begins in eight minutes

Homie #1: Nevermind everyone, Kyle snitched

Homie #2: fuck kyle

Homie #3: yeah that fucking bitch

by BoredToHell2 December 18, 2021

mental masturbation

To perform some activity, typically IT related, where performing the activity gives the performer almost sexual pleasure while doing it, yet nothing of any value or lasting value is produced. Mental masturbation is reasonably acceptable in the privacy of the performer's home, but not on their employer's time. Mental masturbation may be the reason for overly complicated and hard to understand solutions being implemented in one company, despite simpler and more commonly understood solutions being used at a number of other companies in the same industry.

To workmate, on Monday morning, "Guess what I did over the weekend! I rewrote Linux in FORTAN! Cool huh!"
Workmate, unimpressed, "That sounds like mental masturbation to me."

by Shylock Merchant September 22, 2008

intellectual masturbation

Talking to hear the sound of your own voice. See mental masturbation or bullshit.

He went on and on about how many uses he had for an avacado and a water pik, but we didn't want to hear about that intellectual masturbation

by Bur Seliu June 11, 2006

Premarital Masturbation

Masturbation, or touching of one's self, jacking off, playing the yum yum trumpet etc. Before getting engaged or married.

Gee, you hear about the pope's Premarital Masturbation?
Ya! I think he should go to hell or at least get laid.

by Taeko Hentie April 25, 2006

Faceturbation

When someone likes his own status/photo/comment on Facebook.

Johnny: Feeling lonely tonight, think it's a good time for a little faceturbation..

*likes* *unlikes* *likes* *unlikes* *likes* *unlikes* AHHHHH *facegasm*

*mom comes in*

Johnny: OHHH GOD MOM I CAN EXPLAIN

Mom: What are you gonna explain, that you have no friends?

by pinkzeppelin09 December 27, 2011