I was only 9 years old.
I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies.
I pray to Shrek every night, thanking him for the life I’ve been given. “Shrek is love” I say, “Shrek is life."
My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Shrek.
I called him a cunt.
He hits me and sends me to sleep.
I'm crying now and my face hurts.
I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm...
It's Shrek! I was so happy.
He whispers in my ear "This is my swamp."
He grabs me with his ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready.
I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek.
He penetrates my butthole.
It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering.
I want to please Shrek.
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love.
My dad walks in.
Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says,
"It's all ogre now."
Shrek leaves through my window.
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies.
I pray to Shrek every night, thanking him for the life I’ve been given. “Shrek is love” I say, “Shrek is life."
My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Shrek.
I called him a cunt.
He hits me and sends me to sleep.
I'm crying now and my face hurts.
I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm...
It's Shrek! I was so happy.
He whispers in my ear "This is my swamp."
He grabs me with his ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready.
I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek.
He penetrates my butthole.
It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering.
I want to please Shrek.
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love.
My dad walks in.
Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says,
"It's all ogre now."
Shrek leaves through my window.
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
Shrek is Love Shrek is Life
by QuandaleDingleNigger March 08, 2024
by Officialhater April 11, 2022
by Nathankyami November 28, 2023
A fun game to play with your friends. The goal is to tap an unsuspecting person on the shoulder or pull on their bag. When they turn around, you say a generic cold call.
Person one: "hey bro. Watch this."
Person two: "Alright."
*Person two pulls on a bystanders bag*
Person three: "huh?"
Person one: "have you or a loved one been misdiagnosed with mesothelioma? If so, you may be entitled to financial compensation."
Person two: "classic. You just pulled a Real life cold call."
Person two: "Alright."
*Person two pulls on a bystanders bag*
Person three: "huh?"
Person one: "have you or a loved one been misdiagnosed with mesothelioma? If so, you may be entitled to financial compensation."
Person two: "classic. You just pulled a Real life cold call."
by Bigjuicytatas June 15, 2017
When you fall off your bike trying to do a jump. Completely break the bike to the point where the wheel falls off. And you lie to your parents about how it broke.
by Big Yeet.com December 02, 2019
To use a certain amount of time accomplishing multiple tasks throughout the entirety of a humans life.
What is the meaning to life.
by Gucci gang 132435465768798090 April 23, 2018
This was thought up by an anonymous user on discord 7/1/22. It is what you say to a friend when they are sad. Basically telling them to just go fuck somebody.
"Hey man I fucking hate myself"
"Hey I get it but remember Life Hard Life Cold Titty Soft Titty Warm"
"Hey I get it but remember Life Hard Life Cold Titty Soft Titty Warm"
by John0032 November 12, 2022