cactus

hm idk it’s green... and spiky!?? just dont touch one

Ouch! That cactus was spikey
Well I said not to touch it!

by Mimi R February 22, 2021

CACTUS

(C.A.C.T.U.S.) an acronym for “Cops Are Class Traitors (in the) United States.”

Used in place of “ACAB” and can also be used as an insult for police, since it implies they’re pricks.

“I got pulled over for going seven MPH over the speed limit. Fucking CACTUS wrote me a ticket”

by KCHooligan January 26, 2024

Cactus Drunk

Especially drunk on Mezcal

bro, don't let him do the math, boy's cactus drunk.

by Rolandofgilead May 27, 2024

pokey cactus

The act of a man covering his penis in glue, getting sand all over it, and having anal sex with his partner.

Since we're on the beach with a bottle of glue, how about I give you a pokey cactus?

by Bshshdbs March 10, 2016

Humble Cactus

Humble Cactus is a phrase used to refer to someone being a bitch. It is used in Minecraft because of the Microsoft chat reporting system. Another variation of this is Recap.

Hey (insert Minecraft Gamertag) stop being a Humble Cactus!

by Bamblue_1043 August 8, 2022

Screaming Cactus

Someone who is adamant about giving their opinions and honesty. At the same time they refuse to take criticism and default to a defensive mentality when they’re challenged or given advice. Walking hypocrisy.

Example 1:
Partner 1: You need to stop texting at the dinner table, it’s very rude.
Partner 2: You literally have an ipad out and you’re watching the Bachelor.
Parter 1: I DIDN’T GET TO WATCH THE EPISODE LAST NIGHT!
Partner 2: You’re bein a real screaming cactus right now

Example 2:

Partner 1: I don’t appreciate you leaving last night and not coming home, that hurt my feelings
Partner 2: I left because I found out you were cheating on me.
Parter 1: IT’S NOT MY FAULT, YOU WEREN'T GIVING ME ENOUGH ATTENTION!
Partner: You are acting like a screaming cactus

by SpeakEENG May 3, 2021

Cactus Surprise

When you're banging your bitch and when she just about to climax you pull out and yell "I'M GOING TO PUT A CACTUS IN YOUR VAGINA" and then proceed to put a banana up there instead. The surprise is that there's no cactus, there's banana.

Guy: *pulls out, prepares for a Cactus Surprise* "I'M GOING TO PUT A CACTUS IN YOUR VAGINA"
Girl: *screams*
Guy: *puts banana in her instead*
Girl: *screams, but not from pain*

by Rhukebab January 26, 2016