Goat beard

Noun

A woman who has straight pubic hair, thereby resembling a goat's beard.

Synonyms: pubes, pubic hair.

#pubes #mons pubis #vulva #yoni

"My hair down there is so straight, it looks like a goat beard.

by Aurora Blew March 11, 2017

zombie-beard

A combination of zombie apocalypse and neck beard. It it well known that neckbeards are obsessed with the collapse of society, so they fantasize about some kind of apocalypse. The thing is that most neck beards are either extremely over or underweight there for extremely unathlectic, so in the extremely unlikely events of an apocalypse they will most likely be the ones to die first for obvious reason. I’ll give them credit that they usually know a lot about survival, but that’s about it. There are three main reasons why they have this mindset.
1) They don’t have the social skills to fit into normal society

2) There are no marriage laws so they can force a fair maiden to court them and be some kind of white knight
3) They think their gonna be Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead or maybe even a Daryl, but in reality they’re most likely a Eugene

4) They think they will somehow out live all the athletes and chads
In the end why the hell would anyone want anything a horrible as some kind of apocalypse to happen. I mean seeing all your loved ones get eaten and die that’s just plain awful.

Yes people like this actually exist
Zombie-beard: I’m so ready for the apocalypse I have all my katanas and machine guns!
“Chad”: How will you outrun them? You’re 300lbs?
Zombie-beard: I won’t run like a coward I’ll kill them all! You ignorant simpleton!
“Chad”: Whatever man.
*zombie outbreak*
“Chad”: Oh shit! Run!
Zombie-beard: *gets eaten* AHHHHH! NO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT TURNS OUT IN MY THE WALKING DEAD FAN-FICTIONS MAGGIE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE GLENN FOR A REAL GENTLEMAN LIKE MEEE!!1!
Maggie: Who is that guy?
Glenn: No idea

by Thequeenofbasicbitchery October 28, 2017

cooter beard

A cooter beard is a mustache/goatee combo that connects and resembles a 1970s vagina, crudely referred to as a cooter.

In an disturbing grooming trend, more and more men are sporting the cooter beard.

by Navinger March 6, 2020

COVID Beard

An unkept, greasy set of facial hair brought on by isolation during the self quarantine phase of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Did you guys see Garrett yesterday on that zoom chat? His COVID beard was repulsive.

by DRJAY April 23, 2020

Mask Beard

Like hat hair, mask beard is the state a medium to large beard gets into when shaped by a tight or poorly fitting mask.

Bro that mask beard has ruined your carefully rugged exterior, and you now look like a poorly trimmed hedge

by Moist Barbarian July 13, 2020

Jizz Beard

AKA Splash Tash

The stocky mass of bugger broth which usually finds itself pumped on the chops of a genuflecting lass or ravenous mincer.

‘As Denise skipped out of Pinewood Studios after her successful audition, she wondered if the 50cc’s of rod flem that had been pissed on her face to form a claggy jizz beard was worth it.

by Herbie Dongsporran October 13, 2021

Theo Luzader's Awesome Beard

The beard that graces the face of Theo is greater than any beard not named Chuck Norris'. Theo's beard is the epitome of entertainment and epicness.

Have you seen Theo Luzader's Awesome Beard? It is freaking incredible. Just look it up on facebook.

by elgreatgatsby August 22, 2011