Phantom Wank

When a male sits on his hand until numb then has a wank so it feels like someone else is doing it.

I felt particularly lonely so i had a phantom wank, to pretend i have a friend.

by Cleggfu September 15, 2013

kamikaze wank

When you hijack a plane and fly it to the ground, then masturbate in the ZERO-G.

Bob: My friend Tom had a kamikaze wank last night.
Greg: Wow, and did the cum float?
Bob: Yes.

by Lovebugeater March 01, 2014

Wank fuckup

When you're watching porn, however pre orgasim, your hand either changes or loses grip or the video changes to a shit part. After orgasim you regret that you did so as you feel you have wasted an opportunity.

I hate it when you Wank fuckup, it's so annoying!

by i'mlikeheywhatsuphello October 02, 2015

saftey wank

Having a Wank before having sex with an individual in order to prevent premature ejaculation.

Josh: Hey man I just had sex with Ashley!
Brad: Yea, but don't you have a severe case of premature ejaculation?
Josh: Yea, but I had a saftey wank just minutes before!

by Robustwater June 21, 2015

hammer wank

when there's not full access to a penis and so a full grip of the hand cannot be obtained such as in the cinema when your dicks inevitably through the bottom of the popcorn box, so the index and middle finger become like the claw of a hammer and the penis being like the nail that's being pulled giving a better grip

Was sittin in mass and Jess gave me such a hammer wank

by Mattc96 February 25, 2015

Insurance Wank

Masturbating prior to having penetrative sex in the hope that this will prevent the male from experiencing premature ejaculation.

Howay, man. I hope you're not gonna shoot your load too quickly.
Dinnae worry, pet. I had an insurance wank in the toilet at Pizza Hut just before we left. Now get a load of this...

by Ken Dodd's Dad's Dog's Dead January 10, 2011

Monster Wank

When men form a circle around one chicken and all masterbate until they all blow their load on her.

And she will be standing there dripping in semen. Classy

"Molly you're in my £70 dress"
"Good, I'll get the lads at the party to monster wank on it"

by Eleanor Hubbard August 02, 2014