Hyper Wank

A wank so fast and furious that your penis turns purple, your arms ache and you have the most amazing orgasm in your life. There is nothing more amazing

Yo man have you seen Harrisons right arm? Its huge!
Im not surprised, he has a hyper wank every day, i ought to try it some day!

by The Oliphant Man May 9, 2013

Exit Wank

An extremely reckless danger-wank whereby the performer has little or no hope of remaining undetected. Such a brazen act is brought about the liberation of knowing one is leaving and doesn't have to face the consequences of their actions.

Bazza: "Did you hear Dennis from accounts finally flipped the bird to his boss and resigned?"

Gazza: "Yeah, then Wayne caught him polishing his piece all over Cathy from finance's desk while she was at the post-budget sausage roll party".

Bazza: "An exit wank? Are you kidding me, what a way to go out!"

by Johnny Long-bone January 25, 2012

Wank Wad

A word to describe somebody who has the personality or the appearance of a sperm infested tissue, these tissues are commonly found by unexpecting parents.

Wow, he's such a wank wad.

by sergeantsmithy May 4, 2020

acapella wank

To masturbate without pornographic stimulation.

Tom was too hungover to get out of bed to the laptop, so he had an acapella wank using his imagination.

by tomzorz November 2, 2010

Crippled wank

Someone who wanks off without arms and legs

Katy Jones is a crippled wank

by Niscaraeperuscar May 13, 2019

Phantom Wank

When a male sits on his hand until numb then has a wank so it feels like someone else is doing it.

I felt particularly lonely so i had a phantom wank, to pretend i have a friend.

by Cleggfu September 15, 2013

Wank fuckup

When you're watching porn, however pre orgasim, your hand either changes or loses grip or the video changes to a shit part. After orgasim you regret that you did so as you feel you have wasted an opportunity.

I hate it when you Wank fuckup, it's so annoying!

by i'mlikeheywhatsuphello November 18, 2015