Jared

Mole faced boy who is bad at football but literally a fortnite god and will beat you and your whole squad with a green pistol

That guy right there, he sucks at football, but is good at fortnite, now that’s a Jared

by Brian Beegly November 9, 2019

Jared

A natural reader and a god among men.

Yeah I know Jared them at handsome man he helped me read in college.

by Ravenhat June 14, 2021

Jared

Adj. Used when people are being stupid or obnoxious.

Verb. When someone is about to do something that they think is cool but actually isn’t.

David, you’re being such a Jared.

Imma go pull a Jared.

by Dr. Collan Mac May 4, 2019

Jared daniels

Someone who is a good friend and loyal

(Guy 1) Mans is a G, he always here for me
(Guy 2) he a jared daniels

by Hockeyeurs February 10, 2020

Jared

A guy that gets absolutely no maidens. No bitches. No damsels. No female significant other. Or male significant other, for that matter. He gets nobody. He is alone, and will forever be alone. He loves Friday Night Funkin' and anime, and watches them nonstop.
Hopefully, someday, he will find that special someone.

*at a party*
"Yo you seen my boy Jared?"
"Nah he's at home playin FNF."
"Damn that's too bad."

by Drexsanity November 4, 2022

Jared

Jared is a nigga

Yup that’s it

He’s a nigga

Her: hey have you seen Jared?

Him: no I haven’t ever since he became a nigga

by OwOkillme September 13, 2019

I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”

*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”

by Seen_too_much June 7, 2024