When you get a sexy text from a stranger and just as you set off the “wee woo wee woo boner alert 🚨” you then wonder to yourself if the text is actually from a scammer being held captive in Myanmar or Cambodia
Me: Hey, I just got a wrong number text from a really hot Russian girl
Boris: Oh yeah? What’s she look like?
Me: (shows my phone to my friend)
Boris: She’s hawt! Uh oh! Wee woo wee woo boner alert 🚨….. uh wait a minute
Me: oh no
Boris: yeah, this is John Oliver effect.
Boris: Oh yeah? What’s she look like?
Me: (shows my phone to my friend)
Boris: She’s hawt! Uh oh! Wee woo wee woo boner alert 🚨….. uh wait a minute
Me: oh no
Boris: yeah, this is John Oliver effect.
by Lookit Mike Rotch February 27, 2024

Paramedic 1: We had a guy die from a stab wound to the heart tonight!
Paramedic 2: Damn, he got John Wicked!
Paramedic 2: Damn, he got John Wicked!
by HRTMNDR January 10, 2022

A fuck boy, most likely the person that would steal a pensil and lie about it. John is always the one that disrupts class and doesn’t turn in homework, but he will still get a good grade on a test
by Swanandquaun February 27, 2020

"Our stimulus checks came in! You know what that means!"
"What? Askew Johns?"
"You're damn right! Break out the caviar!"
"What? Askew Johns?"
"You're damn right! Break out the caviar!"
by Hotdogwatericecream December 5, 2022

John Is the best boyfriend ever. He knows how to make a girl happy and is extremely sweet. He makes sure you’re always happy and cheers you up when you’re not. He’s always there for you, through thick and thin. He’ll never leave you because he loves you so much. He’s one of the sweetest boys you’ll ever date.
by Lunee March 13, 2022

by cockman720 March 15, 2023
