Count of Monte Christo

Where you stitch a friend up for a crime he didn't commit so you can move in on his girl.

Named after events in the novel "The Count of Monte Christo.''

''I heard Declan pulled a Count of Monte Christo on Jayden to get in with his girlfriend Tara. Dude's doing 2 consecutive life sentences on a french prison island as we speak.''

"See Ed's dating Haydee now?''

"Yeeeap. We should Count of Monte Christo that fool so bad."

by nerd observer March 25, 2025

count torebackula

Name given to a person who has been awake days on end using meth without taking a shower or brushing their teeth.

Yo did you see him? Looking all like he was count torebackula.

What the hell happened to you? Count torebackula!

by Dirt Napp August 9, 2016

I swear to god no crosses count

U know when you say I swear to god and cross ur fingers to say I actually don’t swear to god
But when u say I swear to god no crosses count that means when you cross ur fingers u still will swear to god.

Bro I saw a gorilla outside ur house
No u didn’t

I did!
Say you swear to god no crosses count
I swear to god no crosses count

by Partygoer n kingsheep January 8, 2024

count capula

The king of cap. Lies and frauds nonstop. A total renob

Alberto is count capula about his running!

by Richflex February 8, 2023

Comedian's "Full Count"

Three bottles of "Auchentoshan Three Wood", two bottles of "Woodford Double Oaked," and a four pack of "Ta +Meilleure" Double NEIPA (Bases Loaded). A certain comic's hotel room "Special Ask" for comedy tours. Consuming the entirety (as a group, NOT solo because that's quietly referred to as a "Mickey Mantle"....and likely fatal) is called a "Grand Slam" referring simultaneously to the resulting overwhelmingly classy shindig and to the high return baseball achievement.

"What'ya need slim." - Hotel Manager
"Set em' up Jim, Comedian's "Full count", Bases Loaded tonight!." - Comic
Smiling "You lookin' for trouble?" - Hotel Manager
"We're hittin' a Grand Slam tonight baby!!!!" - Comic

by Ben Whyte February 6, 2021

Kiss Count

The number of people someone's kissed

Bro 1: What's your kiss count this year?
Bro 2: 3.
Bro 1: Damn I've got 6 just this week.

by anon54718463528 April 9, 2023

Count Humpula

A man who enjoys having sexual intercourse with a woman during her menstrual cycle.

Count Humpula doesn't care if she's on her period. He'll hit it raw too.

by AmadeuS469 September 25, 2022