lick the turtle

To cum in someone's asshole right before they shit and then, when they start to take the shit, you lick the cum off of the end of the turd.

Geoff: Dude, my bitch asked me to lick the turtle when we were doing it, so I stomped her tits in the dirt.

by Niggah Dave October 29, 2007

Jersey Turtle

performing analingus with lipstick (Jersey Girl) and then sucking on protruding fecal matter

"I got a bad case of parasites after giving that girl a Jersey Turtle."

by Joe Joe Blowe January 11, 2008

Wet Turtle

(verb) when a man makes a pan of delicious brownies, and immediatly upon removal from the oven, inserts his dick directly into the center of the steaming hot brownie pan

"Hey Greg, would you like a brownie? They are fresh and very hot."
"Sure, i'd love one... Wait, what the hell? Why is there a hole in the middle of the pan of brownies?"
"I wet turtled them."
"Oh Fred, you scank!"
"Ginkies Greg! All I did was wet turtle them..."

by Orange Kangaroo October 21, 2011

Turtle Jiz

a code word meaning beer usally bud light

Turtle Jiz is whats for dinner

Josh i heard your parents found all that turtle jiz in the trunk of your car that sucks

by n_kasper September 28, 2008

Fear the Turtle

When a woman realizes halfway through vaginal sex that her bowels are full and her enjoyment of the sex has been vastly reduced by her fear of crapping the bed.

“I had to ask Jeff to stop screwing me because I fear the turtle. I got on the can for a minute, then hopped back in bed to finish."

by Ren, the Ambivalent One February 23, 2009

Brown Turtle

When u let a shit hang half-way out of your anus and have a girl suck on it. thus making u look like a turtle.

Man that girls breath was wack. Yo, i just gave her the brown turtle.

by John Grundle January 8, 2009

Goofy Turtle

When a man puts his non-erect penis into a womans vagina and waits until arousal makes it stiffen

"She wanted to cuddle so i gave her the goofy turtle."

by Mighk April 12, 2007