-Our father who had died for us and our sins and who had saved us from the devil, he who is always here with us and will always be protecting you, for if you don’t believe he has done he shall say to you when you die “depart from me for I don’t know you”. Put your trust in him before it is to late. God bless you 🙏🏻
by -human November 14, 2021
by Bob Tibbles November 24, 2006
The lesbian Jesus strikes again.
by Somebody’s February 13, 2018
A publicly devout man or woman who uses their pious reputation to aid in cheating on their partners. Can be either using the excuse of church activities or "ministering" to folk as a cover for their trysts, or making ostentatious public displays of religious contrition to rehabilitate their image after being caught.
Sue: "Wow, Bob's really involved in the Church Choir."
Sam: "Involved with 3 separate women in the choir while his wife watches the kids at home is more like it - he's such a Jesus Cheater."
OR
Sally: "After much prayer, I know that God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I'll pray that he helps you open your heart to his will and find forgiveness as well."
Sally's Husband: "Don't try that Jesus Cheater shit on me! You've been fucking that douche Bob from choir - we're getting a divorce!"
Sam: "Involved with 3 separate women in the choir while his wife watches the kids at home is more like it - he's such a Jesus Cheater."
OR
Sally: "After much prayer, I know that God has forgiven me for my mistakes. I'll pray that he helps you open your heart to his will and find forgiveness as well."
Sally's Husband: "Don't try that Jesus Cheater shit on me! You've been fucking that douche Bob from choir - we're getting a divorce!"
by Mai Ainsel July 25, 2021
The God's son, who keeps inconveniencing Twitch streamer and YouTuber DarkViperAU in his "chaos mod" playthroughs of GTA V. Continuesly getting spawned into the game by viewers, or just bad luck.
*DarkViperAU calmly playing GTA V with the chaos mod*, *Griefer Jesus gets spawned in* DarkViperAU: "Oh no! Griefer Jesus! He is going to kill me!"
by Mynameisgregor October 12, 2020
This…is my Jesus is a flexibly productive ejaculation describing any person; event; timing, or situation P.E.T.S that nurtures a person as he or she experiences a tremendous personal growth spurt while maximizing their human potential. For some people it may actually be Jesus; but for others it could be a city; a person; love; a drug; a mystical experience; or a damn good burger with all the fixings. The use of this saying is very individually driven. Often usages of this saying conflict. It takes balls to use this expression publicly..
Here are some examples of how to use “This…is my Jesus” in a sentence:
Man eating a Fat Burger:”Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, this burger is my Jesus!”
Offended friend sitting with him: FOOL!!!!!! “Jesus is my Jesus”.
Man smoking particularly good Hawaiian Kona Kush exhaling and saying: “This Kush is my Jesus.”
A single man spending a month in Amsterdam overlooking the canal: “This city is my Jesus.”
Man eating a Fat Burger:”Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, this burger is my Jesus!”
Offended friend sitting with him: FOOL!!!!!! “Jesus is my Jesus”.
Man smoking particularly good Hawaiian Kona Kush exhaling and saying: “This Kush is my Jesus.”
A single man spending a month in Amsterdam overlooking the canal: “This city is my Jesus.”
by Mind Hunter the Profiler January 29, 2023
Jesus II, THIS time, it's personal.
by Sponge April 11, 2006