Canada's History

The most jaw-dropping sex act imaginable. It involves putting everything in there.
Stephen Colbert is very experienced at Canada's History.
by Colbertaphile February 05, 2010
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Canada's History

Similar to the rumored five-fingered Kung-Fu pimp slap of death, Canada's History is a sexual technique which can alternately lead to either a 36-hour orgasm .... or death.

Instruments used to initiate the illicit 'Canada's History' include a harmonica, a Plastic Man action figure, 2 lbs. of Wendigo fur, a vat of maple syrup, a jar of Nutella, a live duck, 2 packets of duck sauce, the Stanley Cup (full-size replica is allowed), a moose (live or mounted), a kazoo, the complete works of Era Pound, a tazer gun, 4 oz. of tatto ink, a ball gag, and a roll of Canadian quarters. For best results, individuals attempting Canada's History should have endured either a colonoscopy or a pedicure just hours before attempting the procedure.

International treaties prohibit the actual depiction of the technique, although a loophole allows us to provide a list of individuals who may or may not have attempted (and possible even survived) Canada's History:
Betty White
William Shatner
Grape Ape
Lex Luthor
Pres. William McKinley
D. B. Cooper
The black guy from Ghostbusters
Ronald McDonald
Naomi Wolf
Glen Beck
John Luvitz
Redd Foxx
and Rhea Perlman
"Hey, man, are you still getting laid when you go to Niagara Falls for vacation?'
"Well, let's just say Canada's History and leave it at that."
by ScrantonWordMeister February 10, 2010
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Canada's History

1. The official magazine of Canada's National History Society

2. The history of that country north of the United States

3. A large rodent with a flat tail known for building dams

4. Another word to describe a female human vagina
Canada's History is just like a vagina... they both eat wood.
by MIATeddyBear February 05, 2010
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History Nerd

Whenever Nomes starts talking about her favorite topic, that's when you know you are talking to a history nerd.
Nomes: I would pick Cecily of York
as the other 3 strong woman are already well covered

Other: Maybe Catherine? Edwards girl?
She's right near the end of it all, could be told from a "My families tales: pov

Nomes: no, she's quite dull
tale-end stuff

Other: YOu are such a history Nerd
by SylChaffe September 10, 2011
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Canadian History

Stretching the vagina starting with smaller dildos and moving up to very large ones to stretch the vagina to be large enough to then be penetrated with a little person (dwarf).
Another person (usually a man) holds the little person and moves them in and out of the stretched vagina - doing a Canadian History. Sometimes the person being penetrated is also urinated upon at the same time (Canadian Maritime History).
by Modern Canadian Historian February 05, 2010
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Canada's History

A sexual act where a person defecates into a hockey glove and masturbates to moose porn.
Gordon Brown, an expert in Canada's History, always used CCM gloves for ultimate performance.
by cottagecheese420 February 05, 2010
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Canada's History

A sexual act more vulgar, depraved, and degrading than The Aristocrats. A woman is bound and gagged and forced down onto her hands and knees, where a man pours several bottles of maple syrup on the Stanley Cup before forcibly inserting it into her ass. The woman must then keep the trophy in her ass as the man stands the Stanley Cup upright. He then puts on a set of moose antlers, climbs up the cup and on top of the woman, where he fucks her pussy and forces the Stanley Cup deeper into her ass.
Any man that can perform Canada's History on a woman must be a god!
by TheChill51999 February 05, 2010
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