JESUS

1. a hobo who got raped by gay hobos who also was kindly given roses to put on his stupid head. 2.a fagot who got nailed onto a dildo cross by the K.K.K

man 1-look at that poor man on the cross.
man 2-wait is that a dildo.
man 1-holy shit it is a dildo
man 2-what a jesus.

by TRENTON BIG NOSE January 02, 2009

Jesus

The King of kings and the Lord of lords. He is so holy and just and He can save you from your sins. He loves you and does not want you to die. He can save you.

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

by PRAISEGOD22 March 08, 2021

Jesus

God Almighty, the Holy One of Israel, the Ultimate Judge, the One Who died for you sins so you could go to Heaven.

1 Thessalonians 4:14

“For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.”

by mrfunny1234 May 14, 2020

Jesus

The name that people tend to use when they get pissed.

Guy at Krispy Kreme: Hi, I would like one free donut. Here's my coupon.

Lady at the register: Let me see that sir. (looks at reciept)

Oh yes, this is expired. Sorry sir. Next in line!

Guy: Jesus Christ!!!

Jesus Christ(next in line): Wha-at?!?

Guy: Oh, sorry Jesus. I just got pissed.

Jesus: Whose name do I say when I'm pissed, huh?!?

Guy: Mine?

Jesus: I suppose...but Jesus Christ is so catchy. I'll just say my name.

Guy: Tuff enough.

by hungrychance14 January 06, 2011

be-jesus

another word for a woman's twat/pussy/minge/cunt/fuckhole/fanny/ orifice/vag/vagina/slit/etc...

Olivia's shaven bejesus

by Dom February 10, 2004

The Jesus

The legendary and incomprehensibly dumb act of consuming Bacardi 151 and then using tequila as a chaser. The term "The Jesus" derived from an urban legend that a student at UC Irvine named Jesus wanted to get himself and his guy friend really drunk by taking shots of 151 and chasing it with tequila, so they could try the Arabian Goggles on each other with no shame whatsoever.

Joe: Yo I'm REALLY horny right now! Let's get really trashed by doing The Jesus and then do the teabag on each other.

SJ: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww that's gross you sick bastard!
Tequila is soooooooo disgusting! Let's just do the teabag without doing The Jesus!

Joe: Ok

by UCI_Pwns August 08, 2007

JESUS

A pretty cool chap according to his fans. Played in goal for Tottenham Hotspur FC in the late 60's.

Eddie Wolstenholme (commentator): "JESUS SAVES.. but Best knocks in the rebound!!

by mr Cunninglinguist April 01, 2013