jerking a turd

Jerk•ing•a•turd jerk-in-uh-turd

-adjective
1. Speculative term used to refer to someone's tardiness or absence.

2. late; absent; missing.

Question: "Where's the groom?"
Answer: "I don't know. He’s probably jerking a turd."

The ceremony starts at 3:00 PM sharp. You better be there - don’t be jerkin’ a turd.

by CongratulationsDave&Chrissy! August 29, 2010

Double Barrel Turd Jerkin

It's when a woman is sitting on the toilet and a man sits on her lap; while they are both pooping the woman gives him a Reach Around.

Bro this chick was so nasty i got her to give me a double barrel turd jerkin

by Nasty Basterd July 28, 2011

turd burgler

When you are taking a crap in a public restroom and someone tries to come into your stall, even though its locked they try forcing their way in because they dont know you are there

by Kiser August 29, 2003

Turf turd

The rubber pellets found in artificial turf. It gets into anything and everything.

"Dude nice tackle out there, you totally messed him up."
Person #1
"Thanks man but now I'm covered in turf turds."
Person #2

by superflypirate April 30, 2010

cry of a trapped turd

The nasty ass stench that emits from yo ass when you fart with a loaded chamber.

My ex tried to hold it back in that nasty ass. When all of a....Holy shit! That smells like the cry of a trapped turd.

by Brian Wilhelm November 12, 2007

Turd Giant

Those who are around 6-7 feet tall, who go into public restrooms and proceed to use their height in order to look over the top of the stall at someone inside.

I was sitting in the stall in a bathroom the other day and a turd giant looked over the wall.

by Malkon April 24, 2004

turd burglar

When you finally find an empty public restroom for a dump so massive that it requires complete solitude for the deposit....and then someone walks in.(especially at your office/work place)

Just as I was about to 'release the beast', some turd buglar entered the bathroom causing my sphincter to snap shut!

by Sidney Abello February 11, 2004