Jesus

The King of kings and the Lord of lords. He is so holy and just and He can save you from your sins. He loves you and does not want you to die. He can save you.

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

by PRAISEGOD22 March 8, 2021

Jesus

The name that people tend to use when they get pissed.

Guy at Krispy Kreme: Hi, I would like one free donut. Here's my coupon.

Lady at the register: Let me see that sir. (looks at reciept)

Oh yes, this is expired. Sorry sir. Next in line!

Guy: Jesus Christ!!!

Jesus Christ(next in line): Wha-at?!?

Guy: Oh, sorry Jesus. I just got pissed.

Jesus: Whose name do I say when I'm pissed, huh?!?

Guy: Mine?

Jesus: I suppose...but Jesus Christ is so catchy. I'll just say my name.

Guy: Tuff enough.

by hungrychance14 January 6, 2011

Jesus

God Almighty, the Holy One of Israel, the Ultimate Judge, the One Who died for you sins so you could go to Heaven.

1 Thessalonians 4:14

“For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.”

by mrfunny1234 May 14, 2020

be-jesus

another word for a woman's twat/pussy/minge/cunt/fuckhole/fanny/ orifice/vag/vagina/slit/etc...

Olivia's shaven bejesus

by Dom February 10, 2004

The Jesus

The legendary and incomprehensibly dumb act of consuming Bacardi 151 and then using tequila as a chaser. The term "The Jesus" derived from an urban legend that a student at UC Irvine named Jesus wanted to get himself and his guy friend really drunk by taking shots of 151 and chasing it with tequila, so they could try the Arabian Goggles on each other with no shame whatsoever.

Joe: Yo I'm REALLY horny right now! Let's get really trashed by doing The Jesus and then do the teabag on each other.

SJ: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww that's gross you sick bastard!
Tequila is soooooooo disgusting! Let's just do the teabag without doing The Jesus!

Joe: Ok

by UCI_Pwns December 9, 2008

JESUS

A pretty cool chap according to his fans. Played in goal for Tottenham Hotspur FC in the late 60's.

Eddie Wolstenholme (commentator): "JESUS SAVES.. but Best knocks in the rebound!!

by mr Cunninglinguist April 1, 2013

Jesus

-Our father who had died for us and our sins and who had saved us from the devil, he who is always here with us and will always be protecting you, for if you don’t believe he has done he shall say to you when you die “depart from me for I don’t know you”. Put your trust in him before it is to late. God bless you 🙏🏻

Jesus is my father, I live, stand and love for him.

by -human November 14, 2021