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Tool Box Ted

Referring to bicycle mechanics. A guy who thinks he is a pro mechanic because he’s watched a few videos on YouTube. He has more money than brains. He tries to work on his own bike but usually does more harm than good. He then takes said bike to a real mechanic for a real fix and always blames his errors on non-existent manufacturing defects.
Mechanic: What the fuck happened to this wheel?

TBT: I tried truing it, but it just wouldn’t work. Obviously there’s something wrong with it.

Mechanic: It looks like a God Damn Pringle. Jesus you’re a Tool Box Ted.
by LtDanGotNoLegs March 29, 2020
mugGet the Tool Box Tedmug.

Ted Kunt

To be a Ted Kunt, you must be against shotacon and lolicon, and be a pure advocate of anti-CSA. On the other hand, you must do nothing about it but yell at people about it.
Nick: Hey you! You suck, you pedophile!
Joe: Gee, Nick! I didn't know you were a Ted Kunt!
by BleaseHelp May 10, 2018
mugGet the Ted Kuntmug.

Ted Bundy

A psychopathic motherfucker who raped, tortured and killed more than 30 women during the 1970s.
Ted Bundy is a right dirtbag who got excommunicated by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints when they realised what a hypocrite he was
by EvanC7 November 13, 2023
mugGet the Ted Bundymug.

Ted

Ted can always leg press more than anyone else but can never spell words like "zoo".
"oh hi ted are you leg pressing 600kg"

ted: "yeah I just went to the zo."
by teds secret lover February 24, 2025
mugGet the Tedmug.

Ted

"You got any games on your phone?"
"oh, you're such a Ted"
by Dababycarhahahredissuslessgoo September 19, 2021
mugGet the Tedmug.

Ted’s Law

The law that, in generality and absent mitigating circumstances or context, “the fact that you have to say ‘they’re not that bad’ means that they are that bad.”

First published after extensive research into the sexually available women of Boston, MA in the 2012 Seth MacFarlane film Ted, spoken by the eponymous Ted, whom MacFarlane also voiced.
Ted:
Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole, a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.

John:
That's bullshit. What about Lori? She's hot.

Ted:
No, Lori's from Pennsylvania. That's not a Boston girl.

John:
They're not that bad.

Ted:
See, the fact that you have to say "they're not that bad" means that they are that bad.

Guy watching the movie: So that’s where Ted’s Law comes from!
by me.....really May 7, 2021
mugGet the Ted’s Lawmug.

ted meal

A meal that belongs to a guy named Ted.
OMG Kelly! Look he has a ted meal!!!
by J.DAWGdizzle May 23, 2016
mugGet the ted mealmug.

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