Injured Snail

For those of us who are spectacularly slow - both physically and/or mentally (god help you if you're both!)

So not just a snail (renowned for their lack of speed) but one going slower than normal due to injury. Which is pretty slow.

Urmmm - I'm feeling a bit of an injured snail now, so bear with me...

Ok here we go.

A: "You know, they've taken gullible out of the dictionary?"

B: "Really! Woah!"

A: laughs.

B: what? (thinks desperately for a few mins) Oh I get it! I've been gullible! Ha ha!

A: "blimey you're quick aren't you?"

B: Really!

A: "No. You've got the mental pace of an injured snail!"

by Remakulingo March 10, 2009

Snail touch

Covering your penis with any possible gooey materials and then attempt someone else to give you oral sex while they try to remove the goo.

Hmm... Should I use pickle juice combined with jello?

Perhaps... She'll like the snail touch I'll give to her...

by Wrongsoap July 25, 2017

Snail-Eyed

(Verb) When ones penis shrivels up inside ones body after witnessing a painful or traumatic event, especially penis inflicted.

(A man is running and slips, planting his face into the wall).

William: Ohhh ouch! That was brutal.
Robert: Uhhh, I totally just Snail-Eyed.

by TheShiningRod May 19, 2014

Snail

Another word for a homeless person, as they carry their home on their back.

Look at that snail over there pissing in Costa coffee’s doorway!

by Thedodgytaxidriver October 10, 2017

Gary The Snail

The act of a woman rubbing her wet vagina on a mans body from neck to penis leaving a residue like Gary the snail.

Can't wait for her to Gary The Snail my chest.

by ReaperJK April 29, 2021

Snail roll

When a woman scoots her moist vag across a males body hair.

Man, that chick last nailed snail rolled all over my chest. I had a trail left behind and everything.

by Barsinmaerf March 17, 2019

snail teeth

Raunchy toenails.

"Damnnnn girl, your toenails are looking like some snail teeth."

by that duuuude May 2, 2017