John

HOTTEST MF ON THE PLANET AND PROB DATING SOMONE NAMED HAILEY

did u see that hot mf
yeah his name is probably john

by cockman720 March 16, 2023

John

The total dumb ass that eats your bagel

Richard: What the frickle frackal why are you eating my bagel?!
John: YEET

by John_will_eat_your_bagel May 18, 2020

John

A John is a person who is the biggest band kid there is. He is a dream stan and when he tries to denie it, it only adds to his dream stan behavior.

Look at John playing the trumpet and watching the latest Minecraft man hunt.

by Mrcheef April 27, 2022

John

A big bisexual dumbo

Omg I didn't know you were a John!

by One to many Mexicans in my lif May 02, 2022

John

The most average person on the planet. Has a medium-income job, a medium house, a wife and 2 kids, a dog, has a hobby that he likes, an average social life, average morals, average skills, etc.

Dude, John is really average.

by buddy retard June 19, 2020

Johns

Past tense: Johned

Plural: Johns
Present tense: Johning

Usually used in video game terms; mostly Super Smash Bros., an excuse. When you are losing, or before you’re losing; pre-johning. E.g., if you think the lighting is too low, or if you spilt coffee on your shirt in the morning; excuses.

“No, I only lost because I didn’t get enough sleep last night. And I also stepped on a Lego!”
“Those are Johns, definitely. You’re just having a skill issue right now”

by MToque May 15, 2025

John

There once was a legend named John,
So staunch he was known as the Don,

A crazy mofo,
I am grateful to know,
A true friend you can count on.

The memories you’ll make with this guy

(In some you’ll surely be high)
Will only confirm

This friendships long term,
He’s fucking mental but hey so am I

Loser Girl 1: oh my god that john is actually crazy. It’s scary.
Cool Girl 2: he’s a mad cunt. Loyalist cunt there is. You wouldn’t understand, loser.

by Coddleswod April 23, 2022