A solo version of a blumpkin usually performed by jerkin it while taking a dump. It is usually performed by a Cringelord to the memory of some unrequited love. If the performer is short a couple ribs, either through surgical means or birth defect, may also be done full-simulation style.
Person A: Hey man, where did Cringelord go? he isn't bothering your friend again is he? I mean he's been after her so long when she's made it clear she just isn't that into him.
Person B: Nah, he just went to take a dump.
Person A: Oh, so he's doing a simulated blumpkin?
Person B: Yup...
Person B: Nah, he just went to take a dump.
Person A: Oh, so he's doing a simulated blumpkin?
Person B: Yup...
by evilleppy June 13, 2020
I was lucky enough to talk my girl into a Blumpkin the other day and she iced me. She hit with me with he Frosty Blumpkin
by PickloPete June 11, 2015
A variation of a blumpkin (receiving oral sex while pooping) where the recipient is pooping into a 5 gallon bucket.
by KromPecker February 15, 2022
A combination of the VELVETEEN RUB /// Getting a blow job from a woman or man who has removed a full set of dentures. A toothless blow job. And a BLUMPKIN /// Receiving oral sex while taking a shit.
see also: crumpkin
also see my favorite ;) Blumpkin pie
see also: crumpkin
also see my favorite ;) Blumpkin pie
As the old man sat down to take a shit,the old broad popped out her dentures and said what the hell I might as well earn my keep, and suck his nasty,wrinkled, shriveled, pale old cock while he takes his morning dump.it's been a few years since I performed the old VELVETEEN BLUMPKIN, she thought to herself.
by stogie66 October 23, 2009
When you sit on a crouching girl (or guys) face. And she (he) licks your asshole while giving you a reach around hand job.
by Lusk1993 February 22, 2010
A girl and or miget that dresses up as a Oompa-Loompa and gives you a blumpkin. Or a real Oompa-Loompa that gives you one.
Adam's Girlfriend for halloween dressed up as a Oompa-Loompa and gave him a Oompa Blumpkin.
Part of the Oompa Blumpkin song
What do you get when a Oompa guzzles down your cum
While something long and brown comes out of your bum
Part of the Oompa Blumpkin song
What do you get when a Oompa guzzles down your cum
While something long and brown comes out of your bum
by Hollowzero April 11, 2008
The epitamy of greatness. Has an amazing theme song. The one who gets 4 Blumpkins. He shall always be remembered as this name.
Person 1: Hey dude, did you hear that guy got a Blumpkin?
Person 2: No fucking way!! What a studd!!
Person 1: I know right !! He got like 4 of them from that Boy Hopper!!
Person 2: Dude that guy is The Blumpkin Man!!
Person 2: No fucking way!! What a studd!!
Person 1: I know right !! He got like 4 of them from that Boy Hopper!!
Person 2: Dude that guy is The Blumpkin Man!!
by ajizzleforizzle May 28, 2011