When you have diarrhea, so you fart into the toilet because you're scared you might shit your pants.
Anthony had Mexican for lunch today, and now he has to keep getting up to safety fart in the restroom.
by Hobby-less May 21, 2017
Get the Safety fartmug. The backup roll of toilet paper set on top of the toilet, just in case the primary roll of toilet paper is all used up. Often a staple in households with prepared and future-minded individuals.
I thought I was going to have to wipe with just 2 squares of toilet paper. Fortunately there was a safety roll.
by Dez872 February 28, 2011
Get the Safety Rollmug. the 'money shot', ejaculation
ZOMG! The doggie just safety glassed all over the groomer's face... luckily the on-lookers were spared.
by Capn' Poot Poot September 8, 2011
Get the Safety Glassmug. If your gonna get with that hooker be sure to safety face
How was the safety face last night?
Have you had to safety face lately?
That doesn't look right maybe we should safety face
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How was the safety face last night?
Have you had to safety face lately?
That doesn't look right maybe we should safety face
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by X!DDDD July 1, 2008
Get the safety facemug. A.k.a. "a**h**e insurance". Refers to where you habitually bring a really intolerably-obnoxious human along with you on potentially-dangerous excursions, such as on an airline-trip, into battle or a "bad" part of town, on a road-trip through natural-disaster areas like flooding or rock-slides, into a hazardous-materials area, etc., to better your own chances of survival. The theory behind this practice, of course, is that whenever there is a widespread catastrophe or other mass-annihilation incident, statistically the "nice" folks are usually the ones who get killed, while the super-nasty inhabitants in the disaster-area invariably seem to escape with little or no injury. So the obvious conclusion would be that if you "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" (i.e., always stay right next to the acridly-antisocial hombre who's accompanying you), the Fate gods --- who apparently like and favor the mean folks, since they always seem to spare them --- will be hesitant to allow anything harmful to occur in your vicinity, since they would not want to risk harming or killing one of their precious meanie-jerks, as well. Simple, but effective, and a lot cheaper and more reliable than buying death/accident-insurance.
The concept of the "a**h**e safety-net" is nothing new --- it's actually just kinda the reverse of taking hostages: while the latter involves keeping desirable people close to you so that their fellow humans will not send bullets or bombs your way for fear of hurting their abducted loved ones, the former strategy also utilizes the "human shield" concept, but in the exact opposite way... no respectable human being would give a rat's a** if your cranky-natured companion were eliminated ("Good riddance!"), but the Gods of Fate would indeed wish to maintain the well-being of such miscreant, and so they will feel forced to let you live on, as well.
by QuacksO July 23, 2019
Get the a**h**e safety-netmug. Officer Safety (noun) – The ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card for law enforcement. It’s the excuse cops use to justify unnecessary aggression or excessive force, even when there’s no real threat. Picture this: you’re already handcuffed on the ground, barely moving, and they still got an arm around your throat, shouting “Officer safety!” as if you’re the dangerous one. It’s less about actual safety and more about flexing power, giving them a free pass for brutality, no matter how much control they already have.
Example 1:
“I was pinned down, cuffed, and they’re still yelling ‘officer safety’ while roughing me up like I’m some kind of threat.”
Example 2:
“I handed over my ID, rolled up my window to wait, and they told me to roll it back down for ‘officer safety.’ Like I’m gonna attack them from inside the car while they’re running my license. All they had to do was write the ticket.”
“I was pinned down, cuffed, and they’re still yelling ‘officer safety’ while roughing me up like I’m some kind of threat.”
Example 2:
“I handed over my ID, rolled up my window to wait, and they told me to roll it back down for ‘officer safety.’ Like I’m gonna attack them from inside the car while they’re running my license. All they had to do was write the ticket.”
by Watchlist Subject 9596690-00 September 15, 2024
Get the Officer Safetymug. Example: Connor is really into his new girlfriend and they want to take things to the next level.
Connor: "Megan you're a rocket, absolute dime piece, and I wanna cut your safety"
Megan: "OMG! I was thinking the same. Can I cut your safety babe?"
Connor: "My safety was cut with Allie back in freshman year"
Connor: "Megan you're a rocket, absolute dime piece, and I wanna cut your safety"
Megan: "OMG! I was thinking the same. Can I cut your safety babe?"
Connor: "My safety was cut with Allie back in freshman year"
by hockeyconnor1 December 14, 2022
Get the cut your safetymug.