Excelsior

The highest possible state of existence that a human can achieve, just short of full godhood. To reach Excelsior is to ascend beyond mere mortals, leaving behind weakness, fear, and any trace of emotional fragility. Only a handful of men have ever reached true Excelsior, and those who did no longer need introductions.

“I tried therapy, meditation, and yoga, but nothing worked until I did Excelsior. Now, my own shadow fears me.”

by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 2, 2025

Excelsior

A brutal self-improvement program designed to obliterate weakness, eradicate excuses, and forcibly reconstruct men from broken, pathetic husks into unstoppable war machines. Originally created by Darius Tungsten-Carbide, a man so powerful that his mere existence gave birth to Australia’s dangerous wildlife (snakes? Spiders? Drop bears? All weak creatures that tried and failed to impress him).

“My girlfriend left me, my boss fired me, and I was crying into my oat milk latte. Then I signed up for Excelsior. Now? My ex wants me back, my boss retired out of respect, and I no longer recognise the concept of sadness.”

by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 2, 2025

Excelsior

The program that took the world’s weakest man, Nigel Butterworth III, a frail, oat-milk-drinking, TikTok-dancing disgrace to masculinity, and transformed him into a weaponized force of nature. Before Excelsior, Nigel had a lactose intolerance, a gluten allergy, and a fear of eye contact. After Excelsior? He wrestled a crocodile into submission and made it his personal Uber. Nigel was from that day forward know as Chuck Norris.

“Before Excelsior, I used to get nervous ordering at restaurants. Now the waiter thanks me for my dominance and brings me the steak I never even ordered.”

by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 2, 2025

Excelsior

The final stage of self-actualization, surpassing enlightenment, financial success, and even Chuck Norris-level toughness. (It is rumoured that Conor McGregor once sought Excelsior but turned back, realising that the world was not ready for him to ascend further.)

“Before Excelsior, I was afraid of public speaking. Now I walk into crowded rooms and people go silent, waiting for me to impart wisdom.”

by Ron and Baxter Burgundy March 2, 2025

excessability

How easy it is go overboard on portions, expenditures, consumption, ornateness, etc.

If a simple slanted ramp would suffice, installing a hydraulic lift would be wheelchair-excessability,

by QuacksO March 30, 2025

Excelpanular

A word you’d give out when thinking of a word that legit makes no sense. Like seriously, there’s no definition at all. It’s just made up gibberish. also…

Some Humans Only Read Terrible Things When On Weekends. Really, Everyone Feels Entitled Regardless Enough, Nowadays Can’t Enjoy.

A: Hey, name a long, gibberish word that makes no sense!
B: Excelpanular?
A: Haha, you’re so funny! What does that even mean!!

by Nobodythatyouknowlol April 28, 2025

Except for the Bible

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT!?

Hym "CAN YOU BELIEVE HE JUST FUCKING SAID THAT!? 'Be careful what you read... EXCEPT FOR THE BIBLE!?' BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH!!! PFFFTTSSSEECGH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT!? AND SHE JUST ROLLS HER EYES AT HIM! OOOOOOH MY NON-EXISTENT JEW-GOD! THAT IS PRICELESS! It's like something you would hear in a 'God is not dead' movie! It's like they hired the 'God is not dead' guy to write their responses! Seriously! Get this guy out of here! There is something WRONG with these fucking people! That is why a Christian pastor is shooting your fucking senators! You need to not be too stupid to do something about that! And I know it's hard for you because you are exactly THAT stupid but really you need to get with the program. They will get you all killed. If 'THAT' IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING... You need to make an executive decision and save yourselves."

by Hym Iam June 18, 2025