Captain Internet is antithesis of Captain Obvious. Instead of stating the obvious, Captain Internet will quote random and obscure facts that briefly made headlines on the Internet days, sometimes years, prior. That's not to say that Captain Internet has all this information in their head and ready to spout at will, the memory of Captain Internet remembers only pieces of the fact, just enough to perform a successful search of the Internet. Often the reference will come up in conversation and days later, Captain Internet will strike with a link about "that thing we were talking about" or two Captain Internet's will have a duel and attempt to prove that they were the first to learn about a given piece of information.
Captain Internet's pride comes not from knowing facts, or even providing useful information, but from knowing something that someone didn't know and proving that they knew it first.
While Captain Internet is a relatively new phenomenon, they are direct descendants of Captain Encyclopedia, who dominated post-conversation follow-up throughout most of the 20th century. Their rise has in part been aided by the posting site Reddit, since posts are time-stamped, allowing Captain Internet to prove that they were first to learn something.
Captain Internet's pride comes not from knowing facts, or even providing useful information, but from knowing something that someone didn't know and proving that they knew it first.
While Captain Internet is a relatively new phenomenon, they are direct descendants of Captain Encyclopedia, who dominated post-conversation follow-up throughout most of the 20th century. Their rise has in part been aided by the posting site Reddit, since posts are time-stamped, allowing Captain Internet to prove that they were first to learn something.
*** sometime in 2013 ***
friend: "have you seen this Gangnam Style video?
Captain Internet: "yes, that blew up last year. I saw it first on Youtube when it only had 100,000 views."
friend: email "look at these security images of cougars found stalking around a house in town"
Captain Internet: "I saw that on Reddit 5 days ago, here's the <link>"
friend: ".. and that's why carbon dioxide needs to be expelled from your lungs or it will become toxic.."
Captain Internet: "oh, that reminds me of this interesting lake somewhere that slowly collect carbon dioxide in it somehow.. I forget it's name"
4 days later
Captain Internet: email "here's the link for Lake Nyos, a lake in Cameroon that absorbs carbon dioxide from a volcanic vent underneath it, here's <link>"
friend: "thanks Captain Internet"
Captain Internet: "is that a real thing?
friend: "yes, I just made it up"
Captain Internet: "that's actually already on Urban Dictionary, here's the <link>"
friend: "have you seen this Gangnam Style video?
Captain Internet: "yes, that blew up last year. I saw it first on Youtube when it only had 100,000 views."
friend: email "look at these security images of cougars found stalking around a house in town"
Captain Internet: "I saw that on Reddit 5 days ago, here's the <link>"
friend: ".. and that's why carbon dioxide needs to be expelled from your lungs or it will become toxic.."
Captain Internet: "oh, that reminds me of this interesting lake somewhere that slowly collect carbon dioxide in it somehow.. I forget it's name"
4 days later
Captain Internet: email "here's the link for Lake Nyos, a lake in Cameroon that absorbs carbon dioxide from a volcanic vent underneath it, here's <link>"
friend: "thanks Captain Internet"
Captain Internet: "is that a real thing?
friend: "yes, I just made it up"
Captain Internet: "that's actually already on Urban Dictionary, here's the <link>"
by Kar Man May 20, 2013
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by Missilemanfucker202 June 22, 2020
Get the Australian Internet mug.One of Thailand's notorious international schools where 90% of the people are superficial including students, teachers and even some parents. Parents and students do almost nothing but flaunt their name brand items all day but somehow do not realize they have no taste. Most parents know nothing apart from beauty products and expensive stuff and apparently almost all speak broken af English.
A school full of popular cliques that would do nothing but catch up with drama and gossip all day despite the fact that they know almost nothing about others and still choose to have their mouths be heard. Hang out in big groups like paw patrol and yes, bullshit about anyone who gets in their way. Either are narcissists or have the protagonist syndrome, tend to think the whole school population would look up to them as fashionable, popular girls and unfortunately guys are also becoming the same way (usually the ones who date those girls).Since most of the students are wealthy, they would own the same kind of bags, probably in every color without even realizing what looks lame (LOL).
Another tip for those who might not know, it is so hard to respect teachers here because they act all strict as if they are correctional officers but end up getting wasted at Khaosan and Soi Cowboy's crappy bars just like the foreign alcoholics you would see at Patong beach's full moon parties (I've stalked them before).
That's all I can say, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
A school full of popular cliques that would do nothing but catch up with drama and gossip all day despite the fact that they know almost nothing about others and still choose to have their mouths be heard. Hang out in big groups like paw patrol and yes, bullshit about anyone who gets in their way. Either are narcissists or have the protagonist syndrome, tend to think the whole school population would look up to them as fashionable, popular girls and unfortunately guys are also becoming the same way (usually the ones who date those girls).Since most of the students are wealthy, they would own the same kind of bags, probably in every color without even realizing what looks lame (LOL).
Another tip for those who might not know, it is so hard to respect teachers here because they act all strict as if they are correctional officers but end up getting wasted at Khaosan and Soi Cowboy's crappy bars just like the foreign alcoholics you would see at Patong beach's full moon parties (I've stalked them before).
That's all I can say, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
by anonymous octopus 8 June 30, 2021
Get the Harrow International School mug.And that attending? She was on my shitlist the entire rest of the week. I was not helping her with procedures, I was running every stupid question by her, I was watching anime instead of updating families (day team problem), doing the bare minimum when asked to chart review (etc) because I’m no July bitch intern. I am a FEBRUARY INTERN.
by Neostigmeme February 21, 2022
Get the February Intern mug.It’s a school in Saraburi where Saraburian people goes to study for English environment. There are variety of people from across the globe which attend this school. However, they all seems to hate this school, because of bad school system. Every went down since 2018 because they keep firing teachers out to get any possible white teachers replace.
The canteen sucks here. The only place in the world to find a cockroach in a noodle boiled with it. After 2019, they higher the prices of everything in the school.
The owner of the school took the money from students’ tuition fee just to make a playground for kindergarten which kids barely plays it, instead of renovating the school.
The teacher here mostly smoke and most of the students here smoke and drink, too.
The canteen sucks here. The only place in the world to find a cockroach in a noodle boiled with it. After 2019, they higher the prices of everything in the school.
The owner of the school took the money from students’ tuition fee just to make a playground for kindergarten which kids barely plays it, instead of renovating the school.
The teacher here mostly smoke and most of the students here smoke and drink, too.
HELP ME, I AM DYING OF THIS SAINT JOHN MARY INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL DYSTOPIAN SYSTEM HERE. TAKE ME OUT OF HERE!!!
by ONE OF THE DYING SJMIS STUDENT January 26, 2020
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