because you touch yourself at night

The response to any "why" question that anyone asks you.

Young Peter: Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Tour Guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

by 0niTTRay October 8, 2003

Touch me not

a stud that does not want to be touched during sex

"You think damine is a touch me not?" "definitely"

by gaybitch213 May 14, 2019

Shitters Touch

The ability to cause everything you touch to turn to shit ie. break it, ruin it, bugger it up in some way (the opposite of the Midas Touch where everything you touch turns golden).

Don't lend him anything of value. He's got the Shitters Touch.

by yorrick hunt January 17, 2008

touch-butt

Touch-butt is a kind of light-contact or no-contact sparring/martial art training, that is considered to be ineffective or straight bullshit, not to mention looking too gay for combat. Usually reserved for guys like Conor McGregor's movement couch Ido Portal.

Who are you training with?! You're playing touch-butt with that dork in the park!

by Orrion July 31, 2016

Skittle Touch

When everything you touch magically turns into beautiful rainbow Skittles!

Person A: no way it's the dude who has the Skittle Touch! That must be so awesome

Person B: is it awesome? Everything I touch is reduced to atoms. I have killed my friends and loved ones by simply showing affection and hugging them; my actions are the antithesis of my motives. I will never see them again. I live in perpetual dismay at the destruction and misery I have inadvertently caused. And every second of every single day I contemplate shaking my own hand. Because only then can I free myself of this miserable, painful existence. And I wish to do this to protect this world from myself, as I fear I may touch the ground and turn us all into Skittles; I am a caring man, yet I have become the manifestation of death: the destroyer of lives and inevitable obliteration of worlds.

Person A: lmao dope

by Samueliscool223 September 26, 2021

don't touch me n***a, you do not exist

A famous line from a song (Drip) that was believed to be Dixie's song for a while, but the real singer of this song is Klondike Blonde.

Me to a celebrity: Omg, I love your videos! May I take a picture? *comes closer to celebrity*

Celebrity: *sings* don't touch me n***a, you do not exist

Me: *walks away sadly*

by 12345678boiiiiiii January 18, 2021

touch grass

used when someone is doing something weird, stupid, or pointless. it means they need to come back to reality, they need to get some fresh air and get back in touch with how the real world works.

"been keeping track of my crush's snap score. she's most active on friday, least active on monday, most-"
"dude. you need to go touch grass. get a job or something damn"

"the word 'crazy' is inherently ableist and harms neurodivergent people"
"oh my god. please touch grass"

by lacrynx January 18, 2021