A best friend to many and a true love to an especially lucky girl. He cares so very much and his love is best described as perfection every breathing second it is given. A Jared is funny to all and just as kind. If you cross paths with my Jared... Know that he is mine. And I wouldn't change it for the world.
The love of my life can be none other than Jared.
by BryLoves December 19, 2016
Below you will find when to say "No Jareds" and what it means when you use them.
1. When someone says "no johns", or no excuses, to something where you have a very legitimate excuse. Using "No Jareds" as a retort means the person saying "no johns" has no basis to say "no johns" and are thereby wrong.
2. When you are correct but the other person refuses to acknowledge or accept that you are indeed right. "No Jareds" in this case means you are in fact correct but the other person is just too stupid, ignorant, and proud to accept it. No matter what, they won't admit they are wrong and you are right.
3. When someone is joking about something and then someone else (the person to whom we'll call Jared) calls you out on that and tries to use it against you.
4. When you blatantly lie about someone in desperate hopes to make others laugh. This also includes taking your own faults and declaring the other person guilty, thus being a hypocrite. Also, see the more general term, no jareds.
1. When someone says "no johns", or no excuses, to something where you have a very legitimate excuse. Using "No Jareds" as a retort means the person saying "no johns" has no basis to say "no johns" and are thereby wrong.
2. When you are correct but the other person refuses to acknowledge or accept that you are indeed right. "No Jareds" in this case means you are in fact correct but the other person is just too stupid, ignorant, and proud to accept it. No matter what, they won't admit they are wrong and you are right.
3. When someone is joking about something and then someone else (the person to whom we'll call Jared) calls you out on that and tries to use it against you.
4. When you blatantly lie about someone in desperate hopes to make others laugh. This also includes taking your own faults and declaring the other person guilty, thus being a hypocrite. Also, see the more general term, no jareds.
Definition #1:
Guy 1: So why didn't you go to the dance?
Guy 2: I was sick... (legitimately sick)
Guy 1: No johns!
Guy 2: No jareds!
Definition #2:
Guy 1: So, how much protein do you think is in a cup of grapes?
Guy 2: Hm, I'd say about one gram.
Guy 1: HAHA YOU IDIOT, MY MOTHER WHO IS A PATHOLOGIST SAYS THERE ISN'T ANY PROTEIN IN GRAPES!
Guy 2: Really..because nutritiondata.com states otherwise.
Guy 1: What..I-- No, that is just an unreliable ".com" blogging site, I choose to believe my mother; you are wrong and I am right.
Guy 2: No jareds...
Definition #3:
Guy 1: Christmas is on December 25.
Guy 2: No it's not! (joking, using a silly voice)
Guy 1: Yes it is, it always has been and always will be.
Guy 2: I was kidding, learn to take a joke. No jareds!
Definition #4:
Guy 1: Wow you immature nub, stop abusing your admin powers!
Guy 2: ..You barely have any powers and still abuse everything you can in the game. You think I would give you more to mess with? NO JAREDS
Guy 1: So why didn't you go to the dance?
Guy 2: I was sick... (legitimately sick)
Guy 1: No johns!
Guy 2: No jareds!
Definition #2:
Guy 1: So, how much protein do you think is in a cup of grapes?
Guy 2: Hm, I'd say about one gram.
Guy 1: HAHA YOU IDIOT, MY MOTHER WHO IS A PATHOLOGIST SAYS THERE ISN'T ANY PROTEIN IN GRAPES!
Guy 2: Really..because nutritiondata.com states otherwise.
Guy 1: What..I-- No, that is just an unreliable ".com" blogging site, I choose to believe my mother; you are wrong and I am right.
Guy 2: No jareds...
Definition #3:
Guy 1: Christmas is on December 25.
Guy 2: No it's not! (joking, using a silly voice)
Guy 1: Yes it is, it always has been and always will be.
Guy 2: I was kidding, learn to take a joke. No jareds!
Definition #4:
Guy 1: Wow you immature nub, stop abusing your admin powers!
Guy 2: ..You barely have any powers and still abuse everything you can in the game. You think I would give you more to mess with? NO JAREDS
by Complete Truth December 2, 2009
Jared is the name of the most amazing person alive. Most likely the name of a great saxophone player. The sound of his voice makes my heart glow and his eyes are as deep as the sea with many meanings. I could see into them forever and get lost in his eyes and forget everything around me but him. Just one smile from Jared and my heart beats a bajallion times. The touch of his hand sends electric shocks through my heart and i need to tell myself to breathe. When I see him i feel fearless. I feel alive. I feel special. Most of all, i feel loved. I love you <3 :D
I love Jared<3
by SamiLeigh13 September 21, 2011
A name given to someone who is played. One who wears their heart on their sleeve leaving them prime for being taken. A person who can be easily taken advantage of. Someone who will place trust and belief in someone and not think twice about it regardless of reputation. A person who can be lied to and manipulated repeatedly. An extremely gullible human being.
Kris; "So you told him you stayed home last night and he believed you?"
Frannie; "Hook, line and sinker!"
Kris; "And he has no idea you were bouncing on another guy last night?"
Frannie; "Nope. He is such a Jare."
Frannie; "Hook, line and sinker!"
Kris; "And he has no idea you were bouncing on another guy last night?"
Frannie; "Nope. He is such a Jare."
by EpicFail10 September 17, 2012
A sweet, caring guy who loves to joke around with his friend; has amazing clear blue eyes and would do anything to make his babygirl smile; Sometimes his negative qualities show through, like stubborness, anger, and "toughness", but his positive qualities can make any girl melt
cute girl: I really wish Jared was my boyfriend
hot girl: Me too!
beautiful girl: too bad Jared's mine and I'm his babygirl.
hot girl: Me too!
beautiful girl: too bad Jared's mine and I'm his babygirl.
by JustForYou May 5, 2013
That was a jared
by Jared Butkovich November 9, 2017
Once a lost and troubled soul trapped in the fourth underworld, Jared became a God to the Aztecs when mysterious life forms descended to Mictlan seeking an ancient rumored power. The citizens of Planet Z spent years traveling through different dimensions only to discover what they sought was not to be found - but created. Jared was chosen by the leader of Z. A few indulgent meanderings and shots of whiskey later, the celestial alignment cast an electric surge between Cancer and Scorpio. The surge was so poignant, tightly bound and focused that Jared became the first being to have successful intercourse with an extraterrestrial, bridging the gap between Gods and Aliens by taking on the role of Daddy: God of The Impossibly Mindblowing Orgasm. The Z leader surrendered to Jared as an object of pleasure for all eternity as an expression of gratitude for helping to create the ultimate sexual energy. Although Jared is immortal, his human form is a specimen of perfection, sexuality and divine masculinity. His generously proportioned reproductive organ was hand sculpted by Zeus with perfection in the style of a male Venus de Milo. Jared excels in all things delicious, and even his humanly procreative fluids are indicated by legend to have an intoxicating flavor as well as healing powers and a magical, iridescent glow.
I could spend forever drinking from a fountain filled by the excited expulsions of Jared.
Jared likes to get real fucked up.
Jared likes to get real fucked up.
by Ballfro Esquire May 8, 2020