rectally sourced

A workplace-friendly substitute for the phrase "pulled out of my ass."

Boss: "Can you give me a time estimate for the Ajax project?"
You: "I can, but it will be rectally sourced."

by FreshyBB March 27, 2008

Optical Rectalitis

Where your head is so far up your ass you have a shitty outlook on life.

With his recent string of bad luck, Richard suffers from an acute case of Optical Rectalitis.

by awesumwordster January 25, 2012

rectal piracy

Action. To engage in the act of stealing a man's anal virginity without his prior consent. A good old fashioned ass-raping.

Ever since George woke up with a tube sock hanging out of his ass, he has suspected his roomate of rectal piracy.

by Dj Galley October 21, 2004

Rectal Invasion

When a foreign object enters your anus at high speed, usually without prior pretence or notice.

Person 1: "John, can you pass me the Physics book?"

Person 2: "No Ben, I am currently experiencing unplanned Rectal Invasion!!"

by HandFlapper403 April 26, 2011

Rectal Riot

An act where a man or woman takes a massive shit that stretches their butthole, then gets ass fucked directly after leaving you sore and unable to walk.

Person 1: Why are you walking so funny today?
Person 2: I had a Rectal Riot last night.

by bordman24 September 12, 2010

rectal jousting

A competition of masculine will, where two men align their buttholes against one another, and the first one to shit wins the match.

Bryan wanted to prove he was manlier than Steve, so Bryan challenged Steve to a game of rectal jousting. Bryan shit first, and won the battle, proving his masculinity was far greater than pansy-assed Steve.

by AmazingAnus January 23, 2017

Rectal Myopia

The most widely used excuse given for absence from school/work. One's inability to see one's ass coming in today.

Mr. Taylor, It's Chip. I'm afraid I won't be able to make it into the office today. I have rectal myopia.

by Chipwich74 December 9, 2012