procrasturbate

To waste time by playing with yourself in a hedonistic but ultimately pointless way.

"Some people think all I do is procrasturbate because I sit here telling myself I'm the only one who can be right and it makes me hard"

"I was going to watch a documentary on our planet to help inspire me for my thesis, but then I saw that skinflixxxx had a free ten minute preview so I ended up procrasturbating"

"That guy Kevin is such a procrasturbater, all he does is sit around playing sad classical music drinking gin whilst crying that nobody likes him"

by IAMTHECAKE June 17, 2013

Procrasturbate

Jacking off to avoid or delay doing something more productive.

Trav - Hey man have you finished that maths assignment due in the morning?

Paul - Nah, been chronically procrasturbating. I'll get around to it soon.

*Next day*

Paul - I procrasturbated all night. Can I copy yours?

by travvo May 13, 2014

procrasturbate

Putting off a task or chore in order to masturbate

John likes to procrasturbate because he has a sex addiction.

by CrayCrayJ January 11, 2022

procrasturbate

to beat the meat nonstop over a specific interval of time, pause for a short while, then continue jerking violently, repeating the process as desired; although frequently time consuming, the on-off duty of manning the post often terminates in a forceful and messy yet satiating and pleasant explosion.

I usually follow the 5-minute on, 5-minute off rule for about an hour during my procrasturbation session, at the end of which I acquire the power of vertically projectile cumshots.

My girlfriend likes to help me procrasturbate after class. After about 45 minutes of this technique, I can always makes her flinch when I blow my rocks' load on her face, or even her chest!

by theking07 January 21, 2010

Procrasturbate

The action in which someone starts masturbating but cannot finish. This is usually do to a shortness of time, an inability to climax, or finding the feeling of blueballs more enjoyable than the actual orgasm.

Guy 1: Bro, you said you were gunna go fap, that was an hour ago!
Guy 2: I started but i couldn't be asked to finish.
Guy 1: Damn you, that took forever just to procrasturbate

by bawzzy October 17, 2013

procrasturbate

To delay a task, simply for the pleasure of delaying.
Particularly applicable to getting out of bed in the morning.

Q: "Why have you only just got up? Your alarm went off an hour ago!"
A: "Oh, I've been in bed procrasturbating. I always procrasturbate first thing in the morning."

by Heinous April 28, 2006

Procrasturbate

Similar to procrasturishowering, a procrasturbator will masturbate instead of completing the dull tasks they've been assigned at work/school.

Instead of writing my term paper, I decided to procrasturbate.

by TMV February 24, 2006