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Norwegian Nutcracker

When you take a piano wire and tie it around the base of your nutsack and have a friend yank on the wire from behind, effectively making you fall forward and smack your head on a yellow fire hydrant.

No, other color fire hydrants are not allowed.
"So me and the boys were getting a bit experimental last night. But we should have known better- Every Norwegian Nutcracker ends with a trip to the hospital..."
by OzzyDoesThings January 12, 2021
mugGet the Norwegian Nutcrackermug.

Russian Nutcracker

The act of placing your ball sack between your partners calf and thigh, then them crushing your ball sack inbetween their calf and thigh with extreme force. Pleasurable to masochists.
"Hey man, me and my girl did a Russian Nutcracker, gotta say that was ball bustin''."
by Ball Bustin Bob April 4, 2016
mugGet the Russian Nutcrackermug.

Portuguese Nutcracker

When having sex with a girl doggystyle, before you ejaculate you remove your penis and stick it in her anus, while at the same time try to stick both of your nuts in her vagina. This is physically impossible due to the tug to cum ratio of the nuts.
I was having sex with my girlfriend last night and I tried to give her a Portuguese Nutcracker... nearly thought my balls were going to fall off.
by osogato25 July 28, 2012
mugGet the Portuguese Nutcrackermug.

pearl nutcracker

When the female oral sexes her partner and punches him on the nuts at the point of climax causing his semen to fly in all directions.
John: "omg i'm about to cum"
Jane: "bring it home to me baby"
**John brings, then Jane punches**
John:"AAAAAARRGGHH what was that!?!?!"
Jane:" the pearl nutcracker"
by Skoldzer April 6, 2009
mugGet the pearl nutcrackermug.

Son of a nutcracker!

When you want to say "son of a bitch" at Christmas time, but there's children around and you can't use cuss words.
by KnightofNerdom December 11, 2018
mugGet the Son of a nutcracker!mug.

nutcracker suite

A guy's home or apartment after the woman in his life has oppressively decorated and furnished the entire place in her own girly style, effectively emasculating him.
Dude, what's up with the pink curtains and teddy bears?
Aw, my wife turned the whole place into a nutcracker suite.
by Linguistic February 16, 2012
mugGet the nutcracker suitemug.

nutcracker esophagus

It's when you suck a lot of dick and it leads to high amplitude peristaltic contractions of the esophagus which can result in difficulty swallowing or intermittent discomfort. Basically, you cracked some nuts and now your throat hurts.
My friend Charley got nutcracker esophagus from a black dude with a big cock.
by 1203921039 October 22, 2010
mugGet the nutcracker esophagusmug.

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