Today I want to talk about "Spanking the Monkey". The term is used as a euphemism for male masturbation. It is generally only used between close friends and not toward a person of authority. The history behind the phrase is a mystery, no one quite knows how it came to be. It does not have a direct relationship to the actual act. The phrase indicates that your penis is a monkey and that it has been very bad.
"Last night I spanked my monkey 8 times."
"If you keep spanking your monkey like that, you'll go blind and grow hair on your palms."
"If you keep spanking your monkey like that, you'll go blind and grow hair on your palms."
by Bob Homes April 14, 2006
Get the Monkeymug. There's an evil monkey in my closet.
by Eilidh May 10, 2004
Get the monkeymug. by Dat one guy November 12, 2006
Get the monkeysmug. From monkey's arse. A more polite way of saying that you don't give a fuck/shit. Often used on television programmes shown before nine.
by Lalalaura August 9, 2005
Get the Monkey'smug. When having sex with a woman, leave a creampie.
He then proceeds to scoop it out and throws it at her face.
This is not dissimilar to the way a monkey throws feces at its fellows.
He then proceeds to scoop it out and throws it at her face.
This is not dissimilar to the way a monkey throws feces at its fellows.
"Dude I wanna do the monkey sooo bad after Billy did it to Cindy."
"Yea man, Billy is the greatest."
"Yea man, Billy is the greatest."
by Brandywine Over the Moon January 13, 2009
Get the The Monkeymug. 
A line spoken in Kong: Skull Island- where a helicopter pilot lays eyes on King Kong for the first time.
by Richard "Tricky Dick" Nixon May 25, 2017
Get the Is that a monkey?mug.