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beer monocle

like beer goggles, except the person with the monocle on is so drunk one eye is closed shut...therefore, turning the goggles into a monocle.
I would have never fucked that fat whore had i not been wearing the beer monocle.
by rob z February 15, 2005
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monocoitus

A classy, pseudo-scientific term for masturbation.
My girlfriend was out of town, so I did a little monocoitus last night.
by Philly Rodent January 3, 2009
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Related Words

Monocle Swap

The phrase "Monocle Swap" refers to a sexual act being performed by two distinguished and exceedingly classy/cultured individuals, of any gender combination. (male/female, female/female, and male/male monocle swaps are all possible.)

The act can be described as follows: Mid-coitus (in any variation/position) the two involved parties simply exchange eyewear (in this case, a monocle or two) in a gesture of extreme intimacy and respect for each other. This can be considered as the sexual equivalent of a hat-tip on excellent sexual performance and prowess.

It has even been documented that the act of monocle-swapping itself has lead to intense orgasms and the formulation of "Great American Novels" and speeches of note.
"I say! Last night's monocle swap with George was the finest I do believe I've ever had! Simply smashing"

"Really, old bean? Well, then. I shall bequeath my monocle onto Cynthia's face tonight... along with a little something extra!"

*mutual laughter and pipe smoking ensues*
by Funcommunist December 13, 2012
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whiskey monocle

A device put in place shortly after achieving a buzz. Skews potential mate rating scale in favor of the person being viewed through the monocle.
Bar Guy 1: "Wow, I'd need serious beer goggles for her!"
Bar Guy 2: "Nah, If I put on my whiskey monocle and close one eye... she is totally doable."
by SteveTech October 15, 2008
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Bi-monocle

Wearing a monocle on each eye to make it look like one is wearing glasses.
"Anyone can wear glasses...but it takes skill to manage wearing Bi-monocles."
by randymachomansavage11 July 22, 2012
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Modock

A slow maneuver used in heavy traffic which causes an opposing vehicle to move from its location to allow the primary vehicle safe passage. This commonly occurs because the primary vehicle is too large. A modock often is the result of an opposing vehicle being located in an improper location and said opposing driver recognizes his/her error--then allowing for safe passage. Given the everyday nature of this occurrence, it's usually considered a victory to be the first to witness a modock in action and proclaim loudly "MODOCK!".

Note: those who are "modocked" are routinely oblivious of any error on their part.
A classic modock is when a transit bus makes a right-handed turn and causes #1 car waiting at stoplight to slowly move in reverse, allowing for safe passage of transit bus.

1) Dude, did you see that bus just modocked that Mini?
2) MODOCK!
1) Pfftfthfhfhfppfff!
by nulu resident September 30, 2013
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hot monocle

Similar to a mayonaise monocle but actually in the eye, causing a burning sensation to the victim.
See seagulling.

Holy damn, thats no seagull - I've got a hot monocle!
by I'm not Tom! June 28, 2004
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