Glug n' Chug

Gluggin' n' Chuggin' is an activity for the brave. The bold. The quick. There are many ways to learn how to glug n' chug- but here's a quick explanation. Stand up straight. Fully straight. Then take your feet and bend them at 45 degree angles. It feels weird but is necessary. Then comes the most important part. GLUG. Sprint as fast as you can at the closest person you can find. They will be intimidated, afraid, and start running for their lives. But then it's even more fun. You spread your feet out to 60 degrees and sprint even faster until you ruthlessly tackle them. This part is the CHUG. So there you have it- first you GLUG then you CHUG. If this puts people in the hospital, you force them to pay by threatening to do it again. Easy? Good. If you need help, ask someone named Sirjean. They're professionals at Gluggin' n' Chuggin'. Now, time to practice. Find that one person who won't share their lunch. AND TAKE THEM DOWN WITH THE GLUG N CHUG. Posting videos on YouTube will further help others successfully complete the Glug n' Chug. So be a good man. GLUG N CHUG TODAY!

You: (places your feet at 45 degree angle and begin sprinting)
The Op: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! THEY'RE GLUGGIN! (they start running away)
You: (places your feet at 60 degree angle and continue booking it)
The Op: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE CHUGGING (you tackle them, breaking 206 bones in their body simultaneously) PAY FOR MY HOSPITAL BILLS!!!!!
You: Do you want to get Glugged n'Chugged again?
The Op: NO
You: Then pay your own bills, loser.
The Op: Tell me where you learned that move- I need to know it!
You: Find Sirjean. He can teach you. Now goodbye. Don't make me Glug n' Chug you again.

by EricLewisBurner September 22, 2023

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