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computer science

A form of sadistic torture commonly used in universities, businesses and some high schools.
Common symptoms of torture from computer science are:
1. Hating computers and everything related to them.
2. Pulling your hair our after trying to understand error messages.
3. Extreme anger as a result of the computer being an asshole that takes everything literally.
4. Loss of motivation/apathy towards work
Ex. 1:
John: "Hey Bill, I thought you majored in computer science. Why are you working at McDonalds? You could be making a lot of money doing that shit."
Bill: "Well, I did get offered a job in a firm that pays 250k a year but I decided I would rather kill myself and cut off my testicles before I actually work with computers again. Fuck computers and fuck computer science."

Ex. 2:
Henry looked back at his choice to become a cs major with anguish. Ever since he declared cs a major, he has gained 200 pounds in the past 4 years, is completely pale and still has acne at age 22. Also, hes a virgin. This is the result of having to spend nearly 10 hours a day writing useless programs and trying to understand computer code. While his college friends were out getting laid, getting drunk, smoking weed, partying and doing a shit ton of awesome drugs, Henry was stuck in front of his computer trying to figure out why his program won't compile.

Ex. 3:
Gail stares intently at his computer screen. "I almost got it," he mutters to himself. "There it is! Eureka!" Now I can finally work on something else.

What we have hear is Gail mulling over a problem in one of his programs. But, what you don't know is that Gail has been working on the same 4 lines of code for 78 hours as a result of some fucktarded error message that he kept receiving.

Ex. 4:
"I can't wait to go to my Java class today!! It's filled with nothing but hot girls!" -said no one ever
by Alex35324 October 8, 2013
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Apple computer

A type of computer that many troglodytes think is the best around
troglodyte: the MacBook (apple computer) is best
Normal person: no it's not
by Yeethasbeentaken May 6, 2020
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Chipster

Slang British word for a car driver who is adept at rat running - navigating to a destination by avoiding major roads and only using minor residential roads and cut throughs, via the use of advanced local or route knowledge and Sat Nav. CHIPS is British army slang for urban warfare (Causing Havoc In People's Streets) and is a combination of CHIPS and Hipster.
Ken was a total Chipster today - he took the Audi from Richmond to Chiswick in 6 minutes, avoiding Hogarth - totally messed with the Hounslow LTNs.
by Les goddams March 22, 2021
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computer science

"CS"

The magical major where you have to write a program the night before it is due while your friends are playing poker and getting laid.

Forces you to take 3 semesters of calculus. This is not good.
I did fine in CS, but I failed calculus and lost my scholarship.
by Jason Hickey February 4, 2004
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chimptard

A mentally retarded monkey; An extremely stupid creature; A person having the mentality and/or character, or lack thereof, of such a creature.
President George W. Bush is a chimptard.
by summix May 8, 2008
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Chipster

A portmanteau of the words Chicano and Hipster. They are typically educated, better-off and younger Mexican-Americans who retain some of their parents' Chicano culture, while also integrating modern American hipster appearances such as skinny jeans and flannel.
Boyle Heights has seen soaring property values and cost-of-living due to all the chipsters moving back to the traditionally low-income and homogeneously Mexican neighborhood; they tend to congregate at coffee shops such as Primera Taza.
by miguelelel August 20, 2013
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computer high

What happens after you've been on the computer so long that your eyes glaze over and you start acting like your high, stoned and/or drunk.
Computer Girl: Wooooo I've been on the computer for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT! Wheee! I'm gonna go now, biznatches. Gonna go to...where's that place again? That place...
Guy Watching: Wow, someone's computer high.
by keeneyecoolhead December 9, 2008
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