Pumpkin Bedtime

The early bedtime observed by exemplary white guys in order to avoid "pumkinfication" and other undesirable consequences (e.g. fistapalooza)

Sax Mhaffer's pumpkin bedtime is 11:30pm.

by Julian_Chanco June 23, 2011

Bedtime story

When you cover your dick with peanut better and jelly mixed together and let your dog lick it off.

When you break out the jar of peanut butter mixed with jelly and get a bedtime story and let your dog lick it off.

by Lotsolols June 7, 2018

Revenge bedtime procrastination

Putting off sleeping normally to get a semblance of happiness and control/ bastard sleeping stubbornness.

Friend: You have a problem dude ; you sleep two hours a month.

You: don't mock me, my Revenge bedtime procrastination is not a problem it's a shield.

by Mmmmmmmmtoes December 27, 2021

Getting an F in bedtime

Really bad at going to bed, whether you go to bed really late, really early or just in a really unorthodox way

Josie goes to bed at 1:59 but has to shower, bathe, hoover, clean the loo and do the washing first. Therefore Josie is getting an F in bedtime

by Oh my my March 4, 2015

Bedtime Story

An unexpected reception of a sexual act from another person at night, in one's bed.

Shawn thought Sara had gone home, but she returned to give him a bedtime story

by Vpdotcom March 28, 2009

bedtime blunders

Getting caught masturbating while your roommate because of one shaking the poorly made college bunkbeds. The second most important reason why college students should have separate beds. The most important reason would be the story every college tells you about the star student/athlete that fell off the top bunk and got paralyzed and almost flunked out.

Fuzzy has bedtime blunders.

by Downvoting Victim January 18, 2006

IT'S PAST YOUR BEDTIME

IT'S PAST YOUR BEDTIME

Literally nobody:

Mom: IT'S PAST YOUR BEDTIME

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian December 29, 2021