A phrase used in response to somebody doing or saying something so unattractive, that the most mighty of erections would quickly shrivel to the size of an acorn. Very much like the head of a tortoise would retract within its shell.
"Dude, did you see Lucy eating that sausage and egg mcmuffin earlier?"
"Yeah man, she got mustard up her nose and proceeded to spoon it out and eat it, total retracting tortoise."
"Yeah man, she got mustard up her nose and proceeded to spoon it out and eat it, total retracting tortoise."
by Huuuuud September 23, 2012
Get the Retracting tortoise mug.A disease that afflicts most attendees at UCSD. Its origins are linked to the sheer lack of attractive people on campus. This results in UCSD students having ridiculously low standards for the opposite sex.
(UCSD kid): Hey! That guy's pretty cute.
(State kid): Are you kidding me?! He's a chinless, bucktoothed wideclops! And he's always staring at me with that wall-eye of his. You totally have Triton Eye.
(UCSD kid): Damn, you're right.
(State kid): Are you kidding me?! He's a chinless, bucktoothed wideclops! And he's always staring at me with that wall-eye of his. You totally have Triton Eye.
(UCSD kid): Damn, you're right.
by Fro_turtle_o January 4, 2009
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The UCSD equivalent of beer goggles, without the beer. UCSD students find that upon beginning school, there are no attractive people on campus, but by the end of fall quarter, begin to discover that there seems to be an influx of cuter boys!
This "influx of cuter boys" however, is all a mirage. What has happened is that these UCSD students are inflicted with "Triton Vision" - because they have been surrounded by ugly men for so long, their standards have dropped and as a result even mildly decent looking men (aka with regular human features) begin to appear stunningly attractive.
This disease is a serious one and is only cured when one leaves the campus perimeter to go home, where one realizes that there are actual men with musculature and clear skin, have the social IQ higher than an 8-year-old, and like to think about sex more than microbiology or astrophysics in the world.
However, this is a recurring disease - once one returns to campus the cycle repeats itself. Triton Vision will never be completely cured until one graduates from UCSD..... or transfers out.
*Courtesy from a guy named David
This "influx of cuter boys" however, is all a mirage. What has happened is that these UCSD students are inflicted with "Triton Vision" - because they have been surrounded by ugly men for so long, their standards have dropped and as a result even mildly decent looking men (aka with regular human features) begin to appear stunningly attractive.
This disease is a serious one and is only cured when one leaves the campus perimeter to go home, where one realizes that there are actual men with musculature and clear skin, have the social IQ higher than an 8-year-old, and like to think about sex more than microbiology or astrophysics in the world.
However, this is a recurring disease - once one returns to campus the cycle repeats itself. Triton Vision will never be completely cured until one graduates from UCSD..... or transfers out.
*Courtesy from a guy named David
"Ewwwww, UCSD people are NOT CUTE!" - Person A
4 years later
"Wowww, what was I thinking? They are so HOT!" - Person A
"Dude, are you blind? I think you got Triton Vision." - Person B
4 years later
"Wowww, what was I thinking? They are so HOT!" - Person A
"Dude, are you blind? I think you got Triton Vision." - Person B
by FearfulUCSDcutie June 13, 2009
Get the Triton Vision mug.The result of cooling of the testis. The scrotum rises, shrinks and hardens, resembling a tortoise shell. Often goes hand in hand with shrinkage of the nob.
by Chris Avis March 27, 2008
Get the tortoise shell mug.Usually unintelligent, and annoying. They have big, elf ears, and a massive forehand. It’s not suggested to hang around with a Torrito, so keep your distance.
by Sock72 September 6, 2018
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by Tortontoman November 28, 2013
Get the tortonto mug.by Sbeity August 17, 2017
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