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Read and Prepare

A tactic used by teachers in collaboration with Satan in order to keep students awake until 3 am. It is said that halfway through a read and prepare, students begin seeing John Smith in their nightmares. Pretty much the definition of masochism.
Guy: Do you wanna go out?
Girl: I'd rather do a read and prepare on the night before it's due.

Jared: I'm gonna start the read and prepare the night before it's due since I have so much work.
John: RIP ur gonna die.
by bruhmoment1095 October 9, 2021
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Read It On Reddit

The longest-running Reddit based podcast. (But not the official one) Run by two Australians.

They have 209 episodes as of the first of October, 2020.
Person 1: What are you listening to?
Person 2: A podcast.
Person 1: Witch podcast?
Person 2: Read It On Reddit.
by Listen to Read It On Reddit October 1, 2020
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read it and weep

You can use this phrase when you want to give someone bad news, especially if that news is in written form.
"How did I do on the test?"

"You failed. Read it and weep."
by calmecac August 10, 2009
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Read and rub

When someone sends or says a sexually explicit paragraph of fantasy and lust and asks you to rub your vagina while reading it in aims to get you wet.

The paragraph often contains the phrase 'read and rub' at the end. Sometimes it is phrased as "read it and rub" in familiarity with the phrase "read it and weep".

Typically sent as an online message but can be received via hardcore pen and paper post, video messaging and face to face.
Person 1:*sends big paragraph about sex and sexual experience they want to do*
Person 2: Wow
Person 1: Read and rub bitch
by Mypasswordispassword June 24, 2014
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read the palm

Amanda: ur a loser!!!
Marc: ya know what... read the palm!
by Hall Monitor Suze June 8, 2005
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Read a book

Is said to someone that lacks the knowledge required to do a given task or maintain a reasonable conversation.
John: The internet is a series of tubes.
Jane: Read a book would you!
by qwepoiqwepoiqwe December 7, 2012
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Read Possession

The percentage of time you actually read during study hours.
Dani: "So, did you finish that book today?"

Chris: "Nah, my read possession was ridiculous. I felt I was in control before lunch, but I totally fumbled in the second half. At one point I was browsing Pokémons online!"
by killer bee October 25, 2012
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