laptop hobo

unemployed people who use their laptops for excessive periods of time, or all day, in a coffee shop because they're too poor for their own wifi

Barista #1 : "That guy in the corner has only bought one latte, and he's been here all day. He's been using the wifi to....... (watch porn, youtube, look for jobs ect.)"

Barista #2 :"Sounds like your classic laptop hobo."

by msdanger92 May 23, 2013

Laptop Class

Coined during the Covid-19 pandemic, the laptop class consists of middle and upper-class professionals and managers who were able to work remotely during lockdowns. Often used in a pejorative manner, the term contrasts the presumed comfort of those afforded the luxury to work from home to those individuals working in the "real" and tangible economy.

As a member of the elite laptop class I haven't left my house in 2+ years

by e-lite May 16, 2022

laptop years

A laptop computer ages sixteen years for every human year.

"Dad, I NEED a new laptop! This one is already two years old. That's THIRTY-TWO in laptop years! I can't go to high school with thirty-two-year-old laptop."

"Yeah, my laptop is five years old. That's EIGHTY in laptop years. Sure, she's grumpy and slow, but I'm used to the keyboard and I know where all my programs are. It's like this old La-Z-Boy: molded to my butt."

by Kate Saybrook December 10, 2009

laptop condom

Those rubbery sleeves people use to protect their laptops with.

It's a good thing my roommate's laptop was wearing a condom, or things could have gotten pretty sticky last night.

My laptop wears a pink condom.

He said he wanted to get a laptop condom to protect his case from getting scratched, but we all knew why he really needed one.

by the prince of retardia October 5, 2010

Laptop from Hell

This term refers to the 2020 election scandal in which the Democratic Party nominees (Joe Biden) son left his personal laptop at a repair shop and forgot about it and it then proceeded to wind up in local officials hands because it was left. A year later, former NYC mayor and personal lawyer for president Donald Trump; Rudy Giuliani, acquired a copy of the laptops hard drive through the fbi and published redacted contents of it which included various scandals. All of which are currently under investigation. Despite many media outlets claiming the laptop itself to be Russian disinformation, the fbi themselves found no evidence of such. This event has lead to much fallout in the campaign and raised many questions.

“Woah dude, did you hear about the laptop from hell”
“No what happened ?”

by SagaFraga October 20, 2020

Laptop Dump

A moment of enlightenment occurs in which a man knows he will need some form of entertainment such as a laptop for his rapidly approaching dump.

After Fred ate two Chipotle burritos, he took a Laptop Dump to keep himself entertained for the arduous task ahead.

by Chief_Lifeguard123 July 13, 2010

laptop sandwich

(noun) The result of placing some messy, sticky, and smelly mass upon the keyboard of a laptop or notebook computer. Then the screen is swiftly shut upon the mass therefore permanently damaging the computer. A favorite substance of use is one's own shit because of it inexpensive and readily available nature. Reported incidences of laptop sandwiches have been increasing in recent years, especially on college campuses. Generally those who have received a laptop sandwich are hated by several others and often times known as douchebags.

1)You best stop making all of your floormates so angry with you or you are bound to your laptop sandwiched.

2)That kid is such a douche. We have gotta sandwich his laptop.

3)I don't have to go, its your turn to shit in this laptop sandwitch.

by Lars Jensen April 27, 2006