Zander's Theory of the Counterfactual

The groundbreaking idea of what would have been the case if the opposite of the actual situation had occurred.

DOCES: According to this study by William Easterly, there is no conclusive evidence that foreign aid caused growth in Africa.
BRYAN: But Doces, according to Zander's Theory of the Counterfactual, you have to take into account the fact that Africa could actually be in a worse position if they did not receive any aid to begin with.
DOCES: Bryan, you are by far my brightest student. I'm hungry, lets get some Domino's!

by richdaddy8 July 27, 2011

Contract

Mafia word when a made guy offers a reward to another to kill a specific person.

For cooperating with the police, I'm going to put out a contract on his head.

by GF Ed February 7, 2005

Fart Contraction

A pain you get in your stomach that can be intense ,you worry for a second then fart and the pain goes.

"Owwwwwwww oh man my stomach hurts"

"Oh thats better it was just a fart contraction"

by Pyjamagirl January 27, 2009

Premature Ventricular Contraction

when your heart skips a beat.

may be perceived as a "skipped beat" or felt as palpitations in the chest. In a normal heartbeat, the ventricles contract after the atria have helped to fill them by contracting; in this way the ventricles can pump a maximized amount of blood both to the lungs and to the rest of the body . In a PVC, the ventricles contract first, which means that circulation is inefficient. However, single beat PVC arrhythmias do not usually pose a danger and can be asymptomatic in healthy individuals.1

Babe, you make me have premature ventricular contractions. <3

by Hoochy Mama May 15, 2011

poo contractions

An overwhelming sense of pain, panic, cramping, and cold sweats that sweeps over someone when they are about to have diarrhea...especially if they are forced to hold it longer than they need to.

The feeling comes and goes, but gradually increases in frequency...like when women give birth...but this time you are giving birth to a giant wet shit.

Jeff's poo contractions became stronger and more intense as he searched for a clean public bathroom. Thankfully, his sphincter was strong and held back the flow.

by Dooodooo Man March 11, 2008

contract lesbian

A contract lesbian is a celebrity, such as a musician or actress, who must act and date as if she is a lesbian for publicity. They are also usually not allowed to date men until their contract is up, to keep it from being found out that they're not really lesbian.

Lydia: Each girl in T.A.T.U. is a contract lesbian.
Brandon: What the hell is a contract lesbian?
Lydia: You know, they acted like lesbians 'cause it said they had to in their contract, just so "All The Things She Said" would get airplay.
Tony: So they're not really lesbians, but rather they just get paid to act like they are in public?
Lydia: Exactly.
Daniel: Damn.

by Quack Quack January 30, 2006

Contract

If you are on Urbandictionary.com or the Urban Dictionary app and are reading this text, you hereby agree to pay the person holding this device and letting you read this text any disclosed amount of cash. Personal deeds (including sexual) are also tolerable.
Failure to comply will result in a swift kick in the Gooty Hole by the person holding this device.

Other notes:
See: Gooty Hole

Friend: I broke my contract.
You: Prepare your Gooty Hole.

by dhughes June 14, 2016