Ship Captain

The ship captain is the person in the fam or your friend group that keeps shipping everybody in the freakin' friend group regardless of whether or not they would make a good couple and also regardless of their sexuality. They are the captain of shipping people, thus known as the ship captain. If you have a ship captain in your fam or friend group then I feel bad for you son. Jk. Ship captains are also really good friends because of their determination, understanding, and total lack of selfishness. Ship captains are usually the leader or the glue of the friend group. If the ship captain feels that a ship is sinking, he or she will immediately abandon ship and get a new ship because they need a ship to commandeer. Ship captains always have a reason to explain how their ship would make a good couple. If you're targeted by a ship captain then good luck because they're like paparazzi and they won't stop following you and your shipmate everywhere and teasing you, thus bringing you closer together, which usually works after what I've seen from what the ship captain has done to my friends and their ships. You can have multiple ship captains in a friend group. But one way to identify the true captain is to check their phone and see if you can find pictures of his/her targets, either photoshopped or edited or real. Also, if they smirk proudly at the mention of one of their ships.
Caden: ugh I've been targeted
Me: Great who's the ship captain this time, it wasn't me
Caden: Grace
Me: Oh ya Grace is a really persistent ship captain
Grace: *runs over* Kate look at this amazing pic I've got
*Pic is an edited photo of Caden and Mackenzie*
Caden: oh my gawd
Me: NICE JOB GRACE
Caden: Youre such a ship captain
Grace: Youre welcome CADENZIE
Caden: UAEDGJKVziucjdkfcvUISRJGKfxbaioaerlkngd
Me: LOL
by KkMoikK July 17, 2018
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Captain Weakbladder

A male or female who has been drinking all night and after their first piss of the night needs to go to the toilet every ten minutes.
Seriously, Are you going to take a leak again?!

I know. I broke the seal an hour ago and now i'm Captain Weakbladder
by Wayne the Truth June 15, 2010
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Captain Cumquick

A gentlemen who does not last long in bed and shoots his load too quickly
He's such a Captain Cumquick!
by OhNoessss February 21, 2012
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Captain Navad

Leader of the Private Squad. A man who will lead the world through the golden age.
Private Pascal: Bro I just got promoted to Captain Navad's 3nd in command.

Ryan: NO!!!! I'm the worst on the squad now.
by DnEiCgOgYa August 27, 2022
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Captain Birdseye'd

When a woman is fingered by a man with large, rough, fingers.
"Why is Anne walking funny today?"
"She got wasted last night and ended up being Captain Birdseye'd by the old guy down the bar."
"Ouch."
by Ekomatter October 24, 2007
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captain janeway

Captain of the starship Voyager. Lost and stranded in the Delta Quadrant. Little do people know that Janeway has a lust for Seven of Nine. Janeway likes her coffee black, almost everyday, because of being so tired from the night before, lying awake, thinking of Seven of Nine. Janeway will sometimes masturbate 2-3 times a night in order to alleviate the tension and let out her urges.

Janeway lets her true feelings show more during season 7. Janeway secretly wants to be with Seven of Nine, lying there in bed, circling her tongue around Seven of Nine's perk nipples. However, Janeway knows that this love is forbidden by Starfleet protocol. As a result, she only wants to see Seven of Nine happy, even if it means being with Chakotay. During the last episode of season 7, future Janeway argues with her present self to take the pathway home. Present Janeway finally gives in, when future Janeway reveals that Seven of Nine dies if they do not take the path home. Future Janeway is also willing to sacrifice herself in order to ensure that Seven of Nine lives, even if it means being with Chakotay.
Captain Janeway: "I'd like to help you explore your...humanity."
Seven of Nine: "I don't see how being naked is relevant?"
Captain Janeway: "This will help you to learn to feel more comfortable around other women in the sonic showers."
Seven of Nine: "Is it common for one woman to wash another woman's back?"
Captain Janway: "Of course it is Seven of Nine. It's all part of the natural course of human life. Just lean forward, relax, and learn to love it. That's it. Let me get your lower back."

*Janeway begins to slide one, then two fingers into Seven of Nine*

Janeway: "I never knew a borg could be so warm in wet inside."
by Lightboxes April 10, 2008
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Cock Captain

A male homosexual who is so well versed in the act of oral sex that he has attained the rank of captain.

50 Cent is such a cock captain. I wish he would give me head.
by Anonymous March 09, 2003
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