absolutestink

as absolute zero is to temperature, absolutestink is to farts. when someone unlooses an absolutestink, everything within a 14 foot diameter is vaporized instantly. those who are in the 14-30 foot range will no longer be able to smell anything for the rest of their lives, except the smell of #openass. for most people, the prospect of a life lived this way is too much to bear, and they off themselves within 1-2 days. in the 30-2000 foot range, most people will have chronic diarrhea or adult onset retardation.

i was heffin cyber sex with my girlfriend jim the other day, and she unleashed a monstrosity which displayed absolutestink. fortunately, she lives in russia so i was physically unaffected, however the sounds of human bodies being mangled in the background will haunt me forever.

by trilliam turdsworth January 18, 2024

Absolutist

Individuals who extremely believe freedoms are absolute. For example, threatening, harassment, slander, and etc. are just all forms of free speech.

James: You can’t just yell bomb on a plane.

Stan: It’s my freedom of speech, and I’m just exercising my 1st Amendment Rights!

James: Dude you’re acting like an absolutist!

by Plebbicus November 27, 2023

absolute heater

A fart that is so foul in smell that it leaves your anus with a hot or burning sensation

Laid down an absolute heater at work the other day, it cleared out the whole cubicle.

by TheREALFartyMcFly February 13, 2024

Absolute unit

When referring to something or someone who is incredibly talented or impressive.

She put on a clinic; what an absolute unit.

by Mr. Hugh March 5, 2024

Absolute value

Something everybody should learn when they're ten seconds old

The absolute value of 29 is 29 because 29 is equal to 29

by What the hell is a pseudonym12 April 1, 2024

absolute bananas

a moment when a person goes borderline insane and is overreacting and screaming and all that.

"dude, why is your room so messy?"
"i went absolute bananas when i saw my exam grade yesterday."

by sigmeow April 3, 2024

Absolute Luck

An extreme or large amount of luck.

Daniel: "John, I have absolute luck!"

John: "Really? What do you mean?"

Daniel: "I just landed over twenty bottles flips!"

John: "Dude, bottle flipping died off like years ago..."

by Brainless Maniac October 13, 2024