A two-wheeled traffic hazard wrapped in $400 worth of neon spandex who truly believes public roads are their personal Tour de France training ground. Usually spotted blocking the entire lane, preaching about “sharing the road” while sharing absolutely none of it.
They’ll ride three-wide through traffic, run red lights like they’re optional, and still look you dead in the eyes like you’re the problem. Owns a $6,000 carbon bike named something pretentious like AeroSoul X-9000, drinks beet juice “for performance,” and logs every ride on Strava like they’re saving humanity.
And heaven forbid you pass one. They’ll lose their Lycra-covered minds. Just ask Gary Peacock — the legendary Park City cyclist who called the cops on a kid named Pierce for daring to drive by him. This man literally opened the guy’s car door and shouted, “I have more rights than you!” while sweating righteousness onto the pavement. That’s the final evolution of the species: the Cop-Summoning Bike Paladin.
Then they gather in packs, vibrating with caffeine and moral superiority, taking up the whole road like a rolling cult of reflective tape and trauma. AND WHY ARE YOU ALL GOING 14 MPH UPHILL BUT 60 MPH DOWN? PICK A SPEED, GREG! YOU’RE NOT IN THE TOUR, YOU’RE GOING TO PANERA!
They’ll ride three-wide through traffic, run red lights like they’re optional, and still look you dead in the eyes like you’re the problem. Owns a $6,000 carbon bike named something pretentious like AeroSoul X-9000, drinks beet juice “for performance,” and logs every ride on Strava like they’re saving humanity.
And heaven forbid you pass one. They’ll lose their Lycra-covered minds. Just ask Gary Peacock — the legendary Park City cyclist who called the cops on a kid named Pierce for daring to drive by him. This man literally opened the guy’s car door and shouted, “I have more rights than you!” while sweating righteousness onto the pavement. That’s the final evolution of the species: the Cop-Summoning Bike Paladin.
Then they gather in packs, vibrating with caffeine and moral superiority, taking up the whole road like a rolling cult of reflective tape and trauma. AND WHY ARE YOU ALL GOING 14 MPH UPHILL BUT 60 MPH DOWN? PICK A SPEED, GREG! YOU’RE NOT IN THE TOUR, YOU’RE GOING TO PANERA!
by racoo01 October 24, 2025
Get the douchebag cyclist mug.That one kid who regularly snitches on others, either for their own gain or browny points from the teachers
by appleapple_1 December 21, 2025
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Douche Lube is the worst insult to call someone. To be a douche lube means you weren’t even good enough to be called dick or dildo (which makes contact with a vagina). you’re not good enough to be called douche (a tool to clean a woman out in between a bunch of men). You are a douche lube, a tool a woman uses in order to clean herself out in betweeen men. AKA ultimate tool
by alyyyx January 8, 2026
Get the Douche Lube mug.One whom exclusively uses the pistol in a shooter game, especially by just using it to pistol whip. Usually frowned upon by all other players, especially in the XBOX 360 game Gears of War.
by bigmax June 17, 2007
Get the pistol douche mug.1.A dumb ass, idiotic person.
2.a non-clean situation,where you are dealing with a person of limited amount of brain cells.
2.a non-clean situation,where you are dealing with a person of limited amount of brain cells.
by Lilloopy1 December 16, 2008
Get the Dirty Douche mug.A genuinely decent person who plays the douche card to conceal their own inadaquacies or feelings. Usually tries to please everyone by making jokes that fall just short of the verge of edgy.
Broseph, I thought that dude Chad was a total dick, but he's just a pseudo-douche. He can come to the party tomorrow if he can handle his liquor.
by Just-Ice, man. July 7, 2009
Get the Pseudo-Douche mug.by Mustache McNasty December 23, 2009
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