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Holla Job

When a woman yells up into a man's butthole to make his prostate vibrate so he cums without having to even jerk off.
T-bone says to his buddy - "Yo my girl gave me a holla job last night. She went like this 'T-BONE WAZZZZZUPPPP!!!!!' Man I came so fast I didn't have to jerk it or nuthin.
by Conflitm749 October 21, 2013
mugGet the Holla Jobmug.

flesh job

Can I give you a flesh job instead? I don't want anything getting in my hair and I'm running the dishwasher in ten minutes anyway.
by Moms4Harambe July 22, 2019
mugGet the flesh jobmug.

Lemon Job

A girl puts a lemon on your dick and then proceeds to jack you off. Then, the girl takes the lemon off and sucks your dick. However, it sucks for the girl because your dick has become exceedingly sour, resulting in an unsatisfying experience for the girl.
I gave Derek a lemon job last night, and it was the worst experience of my life. It was so fucking sour.
by Jeffrey Canondorf February 27, 2011
mugGet the Lemon Jobmug.

Burt Job

The Burt Job was made famous by late-80's amateur skier Andrew Burt and is widely known to most depressed boyfriends as simply, "a hand job through the pants". This is the only form of stimulation for men whose significant others refuse to touch their genitals. Unfortunately for him, Andrew Burt's girlfriend was notorious for only going as far as "the hand job in the pants" and therefore, the moniker was taken after his last name. This maneuver is also common amongst middle schoolers, as well as young high school aged girls who are scared of touching that certain member, or just don't want to be dubbed a slut.
"Hey bro, I heard you hooked up with Jenn last night, did she give you a handyman?"

"Naw dude, I just got a Burt Job. I'm chafing hardcore."
by Shitpants814 February 20, 2010
mugGet the Burt Jobmug.

FL job

FL(free loader) job. A job were ones does little or no work and still gets payed minimum wage and up. Your time at work usually consists of chatting on facebook, homework, and playing extremely boring flash games. The best job you can ever get.
"waaaaaat? u make 8 bucks an hour?!"
"best fl job evar and i barely do anything!"
by misterlalaland April 16, 2010
mugGet the FL jobmug.

Juice job

Defined as: a sexual act undertaken when pleasuring the penis, beginning with the purchase of your favorite juice pouch, preferably a Capri-Sun. Following this purchase, and during a sexual encounter with your Male partner, insert one end of the straw into the juice pouch of choice and the other end into the chosen urethra. An erect penis is recommended. Angle the head of the penis downwards, and gently squeeze the juice pouch until the urethra is full, or until you run out. As you squeeze, angle the penis upwards so as not to leak any juice from either end. At this point, the rest is really up to you and your partner, however it is recommended that the juice ends up in someone's mouth.
When pleasuring a man, a juice job is a bedroom classic.
by Zogor January 6, 2019
mugGet the Juice jobmug.

glove job

The act of yanking a man's cock while wearing boxing gloves.

This largely unrecognized and under-appreciated variation of a handjob was initially practiced in the middle ages. Historians postulate the glove was a preventative measure practiced by dukes, earls, and serfs alike who would coerce lepors with low self-esteem to choke the chicken. The glove was required because it was believed that leprosy was transmitted via human contact.

**UPDATE**

In March of 2020 the glove job reentered public consciousness due to CDC finding that the SARS-2, CoVid-19 virus was most easily spread via hand-genital contact. Early studies indicate 56% of North Americans over the age of 18 have participated in 1-5 glove jobs while 44% 6 or greater. 86% of adults have reported engaging in masturbatory glove jobs because they saw a Facebook post about President Trump mentioning the glove job's effectiveness in halting the spread of the virus.

Of note, the dramatic uptick in glove jobs resulted in early PPE shortages across the continent and did not abate until 13 year old, Henry Wilkins, began experimenting with condoms ("To practice for the real thing."), and realized what we as a society had known all along, that is, that the condom IS the glove. His Youtube rant went viral and the PPE shortage suddenly disappeared. A statue of Henry, presented in the moment of his epiphany, was erected in front of numerous CoVid-19 care facilities. He will no doubt be a national hero for decades to cum.
i went home with this chick last night and noticed she had crazy man hands so i begged for a glove job so i wouldnt be so grossed out
by camusus July 2, 2020
mugGet the glove jobmug.

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