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urkel glasses

Glasses defined as having at a minimum 1" thick glass, large dimension lenses treated with duralumin, which is accompanied by eyeglass cord made from leftover weave

Eyeglasses that fit the description but are not coated in duralumin do not qualify as "Urkel Glasses" as they will not reflect any semen back at the original shooter

"Urkel Glasses" were originally designed to protect oneself from a being shot in the eyes with semen. Many people prior to 1989 needed to have their eyes removed after many an unplanned ejaculatory mess.

To date, 3,742,635,864 eyes have been saved by "Urkel Glasses"
Jim - "Let me know when you're gonna blow your load"
Lou - "...OK...here I come"
Jim - "WAIT, I need my Urkel Glasses!!!!"
Lou - "There's no time for that!"
Jim - "OWWW MY EYES!!!"
Lou - "Oh well, guess you should have put on your Urkel Glasses"
by Captain Cosby Sweater March 7, 2014
mugGet the urkel glassesmug.

Glass Dildo

Is owed to gray.
Sorry gray, I still owe you a glass dildo
by Snulls1908 February 27, 2019
mugGet the Glass Dildomug.

Glass Joe

A person who is incredibly weak, or fragile.
Bob: Did you see the latest boxing match?
James: Yeah, the the opponent was such a Glass Joe, he got knocked out before the first round ended!
by LazyGamer7224 October 22, 2022
mugGet the Glass Joemug.

Glass Banana

A glass banana is someone who is very clumsy and they bruise really fast and easy.
Boyfriend: "Babe be careful where you step, you're a glass banana. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
by Dannylovely74_ March 22, 2017
mugGet the Glass Bananamug.

Heaven in a Glass

3/4 Premium Grape Vodka
1/4 Red Bull
Can be served with or without ice.
This heaven in a glass, got me feeling so lifted like an angel.
by Mr. Gemini Jones July 18, 2011
mugGet the Heaven in a Glassmug.

The Glass test

A timed 2 mile fitness test that must be completed in under 16 minutes! This test is done mostly in relation to soccer preseason fitness!
Coach I want to get in shape! Can we run the glass test all the time please!?
by Total-ninety January 13, 2014
mugGet the The Glass testmug.

Glass Stretcher

Similar to a skipe hunt. Car dealers send green car salespeople on a wild goose chase. The green guys search for the unit sometimes being sent between several dealerships with each dealership telling the salesperson a new story. Sometimes a device has been manufactured that weighs alot and is moved around a auto mall.
"Hey, go over to the Ford store and get our glass stretcher back!! Don't forget the safety goggles and gloves."

Common to make the fake unit heavy and ask them to go get it in summer when it is 100+ degrees outside.
by klone32 May 20, 2010
mugGet the Glass Stretchermug.

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