Closet Fatass

When you eat a ton of food but you're still skinny.

"That guy eats a shit ton of food on the daily, but he still manages to maintain a weight of 70kg. He's a closet fatass"

by Guacamole Nigga Penis555 October 6, 2020

closet dj

fake dj who uses computers at home, and then claims that he/she is a dj. Often claims they can make phat beats/tracks, but has never ever had a real "gig".

This MoFo Talkin like he know's what's real, but he aint nuthing but a closet dj.

by Curlystyle December 19, 2008

Closet Freak Girl

one who is a caffene addict
one whos love for the music of the 80's knows no bounds




sexy bitch.

"look at that ass! That one is a closet freak girl"

by Anonymous March 28, 2003

closet freak girl

Lover of the limp pen0s.

by Anonymous March 27, 2003

Closet Bromo

In short, a bromo in disguise. One who goes out of his way to buy a car in Dallas on the same weekend his friends happen to be heading to Oklahoma City (without a guitar). They have random plans to see Hootie and the Blowfish at a casino for no real reason but Closet Bromos somehow always get "sucked into" the trip.
Signs of Closet Bromo activity may include...
- the purchase of a guitar
- the purchase of guitar lessons
- a dusty guitar "in the closet" because they spend too much time dreaming of how Hootie's nuts would taste.

Randy Amaro is a Closet Bromo.

by GFord November 10, 2008

Closet Bro Hoe

A girl who likes subnoize bands (ie. KmK, King Spade, Hed Pe, DGAF) but doesn't dress/act like a annoying slut.

"Yeah, I like subnoize music and whiteboys. I'm kind of a closet bro hoe."

by RaeMac January 7, 2010

closet conservative

A person who claims to be liberal yet says and believes in ideas pertaining to conservatism.

Scenario 1:
Jamie Hoe Spears: The war in Iraq is bad... and so is abortion. Therefore, at sixteen years of age, I will bear the fruit of my loins.
Normal person: You're white trash... and a closet conservative.

Scenario 2:
John: I'M THE MOST LIBERAL PERSON EVAR AND GDUBS IS STUPID BUT I FEEL THAT RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER WOULD BE THE BEST CHOICE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE 2008 ELECTION.
Normal person: ...exxxxaccttlyyy.

by fuckingay January 8, 2008