by requiemsrequiem August 15, 2023

while we were walking through washington square park, my friend got stopped by the cops for carrying a 40 in a brown paper bag. he got two tickets, one of which was "intent to consume." at 1:30 am on new year's. i think it would be easier for them to just fill out a bunch of tickets and, using some sort of ticket projectile device, spray them at everybody they pass on the streets on new year's.
by lucas i January 13, 2008

by Mattjod May 29, 2022

by JOEYJOEY1989 August 23, 2022

a Roman Catholic family in a mainly WASP neighborhood comes home to find the words alieni ite domum scratched into their front door.
the father, upon seeing this, says: ah those Confederists again. What a parking ticket.
the father, upon seeing this, says: ah those Confederists again. What a parking ticket.
by Sexydimma March 25, 2013

When you, a retard that can’t just STAY IN THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT, BECAUSE YOU ARE A RECKLESS AND DESTRUCTIVE DUMBASS, get pulled over for speeding. Dropping a gear and disappearing is also considered evading and eluding arrest; don’t do it. 1; now if you get caught you get punished MORE, dumbass, and 2; you’ll hit something and die for being a retard with a crotch rocket superbike wreck for a brain.
Respectable Sheriff: “Sir, did you even know how fucking fast you were go-“
Recipient of speeding ticket: *Drops a gear and tries to disappear, runs into an F-450, getting his blood and guts dragged across a road after being launched.*
Respectable Sheriff: “Holy shit… I’m just gonna call that one in……”
You can die, dumbass. Hold your horses and be reasonable. Have some fucking patience. Get there early, get there late; doesn’t matter. Just fucking get there and don’t die. It helps.
Recipient of speeding ticket: *Drops a gear and tries to disappear, runs into an F-450, getting his blood and guts dragged across a road after being launched.*
Respectable Sheriff: “Holy shit… I’m just gonna call that one in……”
You can die, dumbass. Hold your horses and be reasonable. Have some fucking patience. Get there early, get there late; doesn’t matter. Just fucking get there and don’t die. It helps.
by The ceo of shit Cold War guns April 22, 2023

Render: bro, look at these fans!
Flame: THEY'RE MY OG TICKET BRO PLEASSEEE
Kalal: bro, shut the *era era aah* up
Flame: THEY'RE MY OG TICKET BRO PLEASSEEE
Kalal: bro, shut the *era era aah* up
by oh_itstotallymookie May 10, 2022
