dildo

a fake penis, usually bigger than the real thing. Althought it is supposed to be a replica of a penis, anyway it vibes as no cock has ever done. It doesn't cum, doesn't enjoy being sucked and it's the only dick that can penetrate a female ass with no need of begging. Ann Summers' shop assistants have never tried a dildo.

(real dialogue held in London)
me: Hello, I'd like to buy a dildo for my g/f. Which one do you like best?
shop assistant: We sell a lot of these (she shows it to me)
me: well, is this the one you prefer?
she: no (she laughs)
me: so, which one do you use?
she: I don't use any
me: never tried any?
she: no
me: goodbye (and didn't buy any of them)

by paddy garcia January 25, 2008

dildo

a sex toy that varies in size, shape, and color that can be used by the female to pleasure herself when she cannot get it from a person.

My dildo is hot pink and has 3 different settings!

by pimpette January 11, 2005

dildo fucking

what happens when a horny women has no cock to take in so she brings out the ole dildo. you stick it up your vagina and make animal noises.

hey, I walked into your girlfriend dildo fucking and since there was a real weiner there, I took that dildo, threw it out the window, and fucked her like theres no tomorrow.

by walter mangina October 29, 2009

Dildocerous

Someone with a very large cock AND balls.

1. That elephant is a dildocerous.
2. That man is a dildocerous.
3. WTF That woman is a dildocerous!
4. Look out it's a dildocerous!

by Monkeytronchris1 December 26, 2009

dildo-legged

the state of being inebriated to such excess that ones legs become rubbery and unable to function

Did you guys see that guy? He was walking around all dildo-legged after hitting the beer bong for the 3rd time...

by DJ_Murdock May 31, 2011

Crusty Dildo

A dildo that has dried up pussy juice all over it from recent use. Banana Crust

- That one chick that just moved in is gross as fuck. She left a nasty crusty dildo on her bed this afternoon.
-How did u find out
-no "pornographical" reason... ;)
- (:o

by jimdjfgpodsahgn fdiosnagfjkhs August 29, 2012

alabama dildo

The act of tying a half-dead squirrel or other small rodent to a stick and pleasuring ones self with said stick.

Amy and Jill decided to have an alabama dildo after a long day of hunting.

by The man of the hour October 22, 2013