toilet

A seat-shaped object leading to a pipe which, in turn, leads to the sewers. Used to dispose of bodily waste - though urine is often disposed of on the floor around the base of the toilet. A toilet is a source of much hilarity with schoolboys or those with similar ideas about humour (like me, for example). Also used in insults (eg: "you smell like a public toilet"). A toilet is a place the Queen never has to visit (through some miracle of biology, presumably). People who are sick in the toilet are said to be "talking down the big white telephone". Although some toilets I've seen are so filthy their original colour is long lost in the mists of time.

In my old school someone took something out of a toilet and smeared it across a classroom wall. The teacher was adamant that the culprit would be made to clean it off. The guilty party was never revealed, so the shat stayed on the wall and festered for years after. This was a classroom used as a lunch-hall. What a charming school.

by Stormsworder May 31, 2007

bangladesh toilet services

the true meaning of bts 100% real?!?@?!?2!!??!@?!

Person 1: do u know wat does BTS stand for
btsfan991: Oh I know! It's bangtan boys!!💜💜💖💖
Person 1: wrong
btsfan991: What?! Then tell me the true meaning of BTS!
Person 1: bangladesh toilet services👌

by why do i exist in society November 24, 2022

Asda Toilets

A place many feel sorry for because it repeatedly gets filled with Hill Biscuits by Hooligans. These Hooligans also tend to dump on the shitty Hill Biscuits and not flush.

DAD: What have you been doing lately?

MONK: Well, there were too many Hill Biscuits in the SNUF Bag so I bogged em in the Asda toilets and shat on em.

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 12, 2009

Toledo Burrito

The act of wrapping an erect penis in a tortilla (flour or corn), then filling the tortilla with meat, rice, salsa, and other assorted ingredients. This contraption will then be used as a contraceptive while the man practices intercourse. The friction will result in the burrito cooking to a tasty, edible state. Bonus points are awarded to folks who use raw beef and successfully cook it to a medium or medium-well state.

A member of the Holy Toledo Trinity, along with the "Toledo Mosquito" and the "Toledo Funguito".

"I had the ingredients lying around, so I was like, 'Hey, Becky, do you want a Toledo Burrito?' and she was all, 'Yeah, I guess.' So I had sex with her with a burrito on my penis."

by The Earl of Teabag August 30, 2006

zero tolerance

A policy, usually by American schools that any reference to a gun, violence, or drugs will get you expelled automatically with no trial.

Because of zero tolerance, Markie was suspended for pointing a chicken strip at a teacher and said, "bang!"

by Tom Bomb December 28, 2005

Toilet Sausage

A slang term used to refer to going to the bath and taking a poop, dump, crap,deuce, and ext.

The act of a human making a sausage shaped poop/turd and depositing the poop/turd into the toilet.

"That pizza has gone right threw me. I have to go make some toilet sausage."

by Secrect Destroyer February 8, 2009

toilet paper eggs

the curled up bits of toilet paper left in your bum hairs after you wipe too hard with cheap toilet paper after a shit

Ah man, that bog roll has left me with toilet paper eggs in my ass nest..

Bev was not impressed by his dads new tattoo, so he dropped his duds to give his dad a brown eye and his dad said "damn boy, you got toilet paper eggs hatching in your anus"

by Katey Kate Kat Ka K March 10, 2014