dynamic stretching

Male stretching before soccer game and female getting turned on.

Example. "Kruno the first time I saw you dynamic stretching before soccer, I was like WHOA

by Pavkovm February 16, 2015

Shirt stretcher

A fat fuck who constantly pulls their shirt away from their gunt to give the illusion of not being obese.

Jon keeps pulling his shirt away from his gut. What a shirt stretcher.

by m4gssssss August 6, 2017

mound stretcher

A particularly long, thick, and hard penis commonly found on gentlemen north of Hadrian's wall.

Tell me Mrs. McTavish, you said that your new born son weighed 25 lbs at birth yet three weeks later, he now weighs only 15 lbs. what happened? "Oh, we had his mound stretcher circumsized your majesty".

by Baffersty March 7, 2018

soda-stretcher

A simple method of both saving money on "flavored fizzy" and quenching your thirst better on extra-hot days. What you do is save a two-or-three-liter plastic soda-bottle after you empty it, and then pour in half the soda from a freshly-opened bottle of da same size. Then fill both bottles the rest of the way with drinking-water . Now you'll have twice as much liquid libation for about the same price as just one bottle, plus it will seem wetter and more refreshing, and the drink's milder flavor will help you feel "filled up" more quickly.

Raising your children to not have an excessively "sweet tooth" is a good idea just "in and of itself", of course, but it also has great advantages whenever you employ the "soda-stretcher" technique on hot days, since your kids will already be accustomed to blander-tasting beverages by that time, and so they will probably not feel particularly dissatisfied with your "watered-down" concoction.

by QuacksO August 29, 2018

Taffy Stretching

The excessive stretching of buttholes, vaginas, and nipples until a complete loss of elasticity.

Theo: Dude did you just shit your pants?

Sam: Yeah sorry guys I got a little out of hand with taffy stretching my asshole.

by Banana Hammie May 4, 2020

Broken stretcher

Broken stretcher is when an emergency room nurse or doctor pisses off a paramedic and a radio call for "broken stretcher" is made. Then every ambulance in radio distance picks up as many frequent patients as possible and overload the ER until an apology is made. The wrong has to be made right.

Paramedic1: damn partner that RN called a complaint on me.

Paramedic 2: looks like it's time for a broken stretcher on that ER.

by TexasTrouble5 March 21, 2021

Coonanus Stretching

The practice of stretching one's anus to accommodate a racoon

"The racoon can squeeze into a space of just 6 inches, with proper Coonanus stretching you could house a raccoon up your bum"

by Teslanotthecar April 23, 2021